Unanswered Questions

It's funny that I like to do things when I know exactly what little I can get. It's even more funnier that when I don't know what I will get, I still get on to do it and I get what I don't really expect. I know that I know a little of this world and by far I've been a pawn that has been ably supported. What lies ahead is question meant for strategists, forecasters, planners and the likes. Funnily enough, I like to be classified among them even though I'm at best a speculator. I seek answers all the time. I'm generally not really happy with things happening around or the way they happen or the way they are portrayed. I've little authority over the proceedings but I can obviously fight with myself for not being able to change or at least reason it out. The cliched peace of mind has been lacking perennially. With just few months of study remaining, I got to find more of what I can. Library is the place to be and books are the things to aid. Society and all of the existential trash will continue to haunt. History is not meant for archaeologists only but for everyone who treads on the same ground. Pure capitalism leads to pure hedonism, something that should be abstained from. After all, we're only ordinary men. Like fishes in a bowl, trying to jump to a bigger bowl and why? That's another question.

Shades of Life

Long train journeys force you to think, either by lack of any excitement nearby or the sight of meadows, hills, rural people etc. make you philosophical. I recently made a two thousand six hundred thirty eight kilometers long journey from an idyllic Malyali town to the plains of Bihar. It wasn’t most stimulating of the journeys but I met an interesting set of people who led different kind of lifestyles and had few things in common. I also got to read a few captivating books like Curfewed Night by Basharat Peer. It was the first-hand account of the dreaded life in Kashmir by a Muslim and it wasn’t about the politics, partition, historical blunders or the best solution; it was about a common man’s life in the badlands of Kashmir, a rather simple life. If I think about what causes diversity in life across the globe, there are lot more things than history and geography only. Think about life of few people down here:

-A Muslim navy officer posted at INS Dronacharya, who hails from West Bengal and likes to read and do orkutting
-A newly married lady from Bihar, who is bored in Cochin and wants to come back to her native place with her young son so that she can enjoy her time (PS: leaving husband behind)
-An old Mallu lady who lives with her family and doesn’t travel much or know about the world
-A normal middleclass self-indulgent youth who is in army and continues to bask in the glory
-A 2 yr old kid who is fed properly, likes to jump around and considers everything a toy
-An educated self-centered semi-urban youth concerned with his career, life ahead and goes by his own interpretations of things
-A hardworking semi-literate guy who works in a big city and sends his earnings to his family in the village
-A 17 year old rich and beautiful estrogen-filled girl who parties around and changes boyfriend(s) before expiry date
-A little playful Rajasthani girl who leads a nomadic life
-An educated working man with a settled family and job and likes to criticize politics and western culture
-A gossipmonger housewife who likes to assert power over her husband and children
-A person who does a fraud and runs away with lot of money to a different place
-A person living on mountains, who drinks water from the running stream nearby


There are plenty and may be you can identify yourself with some of them. I met the first five mentioned above, on the same train and sixth being myself. If I were born in Kashmir, I would be used to drinking Kahwa, getting frisked at every few steps, being tormented by security and hearing stories of people dying around or forced to either by militants or the not-so-well-known barbarism of Indian army. If I were an Eskimo, I would probably be concerned about extreme winter and storage of food. If I were a Guitarist, I would probably be concerned with making new music.

There are varying degrees of association with different things in life. It is not just a matter of personal preference. Probably most important factor is the way we are brought up. A kid brought up in extremely conservative environment may turn out to be same or just the opposite. A kid who goes to a posh school will have different ideology than a simple small town kid. A chic girl who is used to being the centre of attraction is more likely to develop a superfluous attitude than a simpler unassuming counterpart. Family, Friends and Companions are the initial platforms where one starts to crawl, but eventually all that knowledge gets drowned in the world and the remains are what the individual chooses to retain. Politics affect one in a great way or else Bengalis and Malyalis wouldn’t be associated with communism. A pure capitalist would be a rather brutal result-oriented individual than a socialist who would seek equality in various aspects. A class topper would have different group dynamics than a talkative rule-defying kid at the backbench. I am glad I wasn’t born in a poor Nigerian family, an illiterate family in Afghanistan or among the hoodlums of Rio De Janeiro. The effect of society has been variegated on different individuals. Not all was chosen by an individual, and that’s what sets one apart, right from the beginning.

The Invisible Barriers

You refers to someone who is normal and sufficiently social. We is a set of such people.

You go around and you meet people, hundreds of them, all unique in their own special way. You like some, you don't like some and most of them fall in the gray zone. Still you are with the set of people that you've chosen whether its friends, partners, shopkeepers whatever. Do we actually choose the people we want to be with or it is just a matter of chance? Remember the first day you went to school. You sat with someone and shared your lunch. You became friends with them because you knew them since they were kids, but you didn't get to choose them. You didn't get to choose your parents and siblings but still you're happy and consider yourself lucky. You won a game of chance. Understandably, you didn't control much of these proceedings. Let's move further. You grow a sane head on your shoulders. You're in college now, lets say, a residential college. You land up in a hostel and meet the other people around you. You like them and roam around with them. What if, you landed in some other hostel with different set of people? You will still like them and roam around with them. But which case is better, former or latter? Real life samples are definitely not normally distributed. You're a victim of chance. You tend to like the surroundings, which is arguably the best thing to do. What else can you do? Go around and test all possible samples of people and choose the best fit for yourself? Too much of unwarranted work to do. Imagine yourself standing in a lift with a capacity of 8 people, imagine it's full. What do you do? Keep your head down and pretend to be composed individual who's happy with himself. You keep looking at the lift panel from the corner of your eyes and when you've to leave, you leave with a bit of formalities that you probably taught yourself. This isn't limited to lift, you've started doing it in all spheres of life. You have developed invisible barriers. You don't talk without a reason and when there is a reason you talk a lot. If you can't talk even when you've a reason, you're labeled as a dork, a loner or whatever. When did you develop these invisible barriers, which percolated to all facets of your personality? May be you developed those invisible barriers because you stayed with people who had them always. But you didn't choose them, you were just a victim of chance. The invisible barriers is just a scar then. You couldn't go out of your comfort zone, you never tried to meet people that you may like. You were told that a path exists, its safe and it will take you to success. You followed that path. You're not a fool to devise a new way in the wilderness. You never kept yourself alone because you don't like it that way. You stayed with people that were around you, the ones that you didn't choose, the ones you got by chance. You're expecting a conclusion here because you don't do anything without expectations, without a reason. You don't laugh without a reason rather you laugh at those who laugh without a reason. You work for yourself, for your folks and take pride in that. Probably you're doing all right things. You're happy. You've an active social life. You learn lessons from life and become stronger. You make those invisible barriers a part of your life and you don't choose. You take whatever is bestowed upon you. You've chosen the easy way out, you're smart. You'll never go into the wild.

Leaving Behind

I generally don't like to hear to womens' talk but sometimes I just have to. It's not boring always. I was in a cramped up office last month for an internship. It was a govt. company with big files, red tapism and creeping slowness in every process. There were ladies working there for last 25-30 yrs and on the verge of retirement. They talked about everything but mostly it was centered around their kids, career and office life. They wondered how work at office will progress once they are gone. They picked each of the new guys and speculated how they will mature and take care of things that they used to do. They talked about their kids' studies, college and activities. They were worried about their daughters' marriage and contemplated if love marriage is really a good option. All the while I was pretending to work on computer with my ears all open. I hate to admit that I enjoyed doing that. Peeking into someone's life always gets me curious.

We all are leaving things behind. I hardly have few things in my life that I had five years ago. My hobbies(tv channels, fruits, games etc etc), idiosyncrasies, thoughts,attitude all have been altered to some extent. The people I talk to, spend time with or see around are all "new". I have forgotten and been forgotten by friends, acquaintances and relatives. I have done things which I wouldn't have liked to do. I am running a race from somewhere to somewhere, changing directions on certain outcomes which I do not control. I have changed address 14 times in last 9 years and I'm sick of it. I'm leaving myself behind. I wish to settle down somewhere sometime soon. I went home for 5 days and wanted to stay there longer. You miss so much in hostel- food, care, attention, discipline, comforts, festivals, celebrations and solace. I can say this after spending almost last 9 years in hostel at the prime of my youth. I wish things, I ought to make it happen.

Finally, the concept of weekends is history. The timetable is such that there are 2-4 classes everyday but the good thing is that it distributes the load. I moved to a new room at the ground floor and got bitten by an unidentified insect which caused random swellings that moved from finger to finger to stomach to neck to lips. That was a fun sickness to have!

Days

Caged in glass walls, he was hopping from one end to the other. They paid him and he got poorer. He was seeking solace, to pass his days, unperturbed in a silent shell created by himself, for himself. It is not exactly the unbridled freedom one hopes for, there isn't any as we all have history and future to deal with. He hasn't got any company as he walks on a path where there are many companions. The contradictions rule the roost. A ray of light which gave immense ephemeral pleasure disappeared at once. It had to someday, you can't keep on playing with fire forever without burning your hands. Days pass by and he ticks away the moments that make a dull day while trying hard not to be disillusioned. There are so many flickering things around and they all look the same. There are so many ramifications and he doesn't know if they all converge. He treads on his path like a sheep in the flock.

The Four Good Guys

Once upon a time, there were four good guys. They were intelligent, strong, full of passion and had dreams in their eyes. They thought they had clear objectives when they passed out as management graduates. It was the time to revel in their achievements and to throw hats in the air as a sign of their esteemed success. They passed out and promised to make it big in life and stay in touch, just like when they were staying at the same floor of the hostel. Rahul, Kumaresh, Pallav and Shivam cherished their times together and went on in their lives. Summers, rains, winters, autumn, work, office, malls, movies, girlfriends, wives, cars, football, kids, building house, hopes, desires, greed… time flew. Life took different course for the four good guys. There is randomness in everything that’s real. Is there a square? Can two sides be of same length till infinite points of decimal, or is there an exact 90.000… degrees that can be drawn? These are just the models by which we see a simplistic view of randomness that exists around. Life throws random things at us. The four guys were no exceptions but they were strong, strong enough to face any eventuality that might challenge them. It was a quest for money or material, fame or glory, love or happiness, satisfaction or what? They had little idea what they actually wanted and with the mad rush around they didn’t sit down to think. Was that a real mistake? Only time can tell.

Rahul was a simple guy who was worked hard. He knew how to derive little pleasures of life which people either ignore in their bigger pursuits or consider them to too petty to be cherished. He finished his education and went ahead to work in a big firm in Mumbai. He was open and accommodating and so he didn’t find it much difficult to cope with corporate culture and likes of that. He worked hard as he always did and stepped up the ladder at a convenient pace without stretching too much. He wasn’t exhausted or burnt down by his own expectations which were always kept at an obtainable level. He returned back from office at 8 PM and spent in company of friends or computer games until he got married. Is marriage a big deal? Well, yes for some people. Some people don’t compromise on what they think is the single largest factor that decides life and the course of it. Some are too picky and have exact constraints to be fulfilled. Some are just not really bothered about it and play it cool. Rahul probably himself didn’t know what category he falls into, but as he was open and candid he didn’t find it too difficult to settle down. Everyone wished him and he rode on his path steadily. Often he called up Pallav, Shivam or Kumaresh to know how he is doing. How is his wife? And children? Did you go somewhere for a trip? New car? Remember the hostel parties? The discussions were in short sentences and then to monosyllables and often ended with a bye and a promise to meet. All were busy and had their own problems, who will talk at length and where’s the time to meet? But those thoughts never surfaced, they were hidden deep down. Time flew, kids were born and they grew up. Rahul had a kind of life - 10 hours job, fat salary, a good wife, school going kids, social status, circle, gadgets, quite some time to pursue hobbies, yearly trips, hopes, desires… He was leading what the author calls White Life.

Kumaresh, are you still a geek? How’s your son? Pallav wondered when he had a talk with Kumaresh after 3 years, one fine Sunday in 2021. Kumaresh whisked away his question with a laugh and told him about a new technology or product that he is involved in at work. Kumaresh worked in a big firm after his graduation and loved to deal with technical things. He gladly accepted when his firm decided to send him to US for 5 years on a mission-critical project, although he wondered why just five years? He enjoyed his work and the the kind of life he was leading. Never a relentless speaker, he knew how to self-contain and work was never a big worry for him. He was pushed for marriage and he reluctantly married and started a new chapter. His life went smoothly, with occasional events of family happiness and outings and a great satisfaction in terms of personal interest. He made big bucks, became very rich but it didn’t had any significant effect on him. His family-wife and kids were happy and he was as calm and composed as ever. He had a kind of life where he worked 13 hours a day, earned tremendous money, lived in luxury, pursued his interests and all that may be at a little expense of personal life? He wasn’t the most romantic person around and his family often wished if he had a bit more of time for them. He had small refreshing talks with his other three hostel friends and he was a big man, leading what the author calls Blue Life.

Pallav never had a silent mind- one thing or the other was always turning topsy-turvy in his grey chambers. He had a philosophical outlook and preferred to stay content. It wasn’t difficult for him to adjust in the new found corporate life after graduating. He was curious- he learnt new things and being a hard worker, it was almost a cakewalk for him to do good continuously. But he wondered why to do all this? What is that I am going to achieve after all this? He was peaceful and his curiosity took him to new places. He evaluated his life and seeks answers for his questions. Is there a soul-mate? What is next for me to achieve? Seeking an objective view of life, he pondered while he worked and as always, time flew. He got married and settled happily. He didn’t run after big money but he kept the work and life balanced just at a point which always left him in bewildered- a little this side or that side? Leisure has a cost, if I work more, I will earn more and I will keep my family and myself in comfort but ultimately ended up doing otherwise. He enjoyed his evenings and waited for them the whole day. Office work was easy for him and he was popular and progressed at an easy pace. He kept the balance which was important for him and valued his time off the shelf. Kids grew and he was content looking at them. His thoughts never kept him idle and he had a kind of life where he still had a lot to do, sufficient money, great loving family, nice job where he wasn’t bogged down, thoughts and hopes and a little concern about future, a seemingly decent balance, maybe? He was leading what the author calls Green Life.

Shivam was a dynamic guy and good at almost whatever he did. He was enthusiastic and never shied away from responsibilities. Probably, that’s why he achieved so much success after he graduated. He put his best efforts at work and reaped the benefits straight away. He got good job, made good progress, earned a lot and moved on in life without worrying or thinking too much about issues on which he didn’t exercise much control. He was practical and focused and soon after he married and started the new life. Again as it was said, he never worried about the finesse but went on doing things which were to be done at the given time. Somehow down the line, he became puzzled about life. He started remembering those good old days when he was a good sportsman and wondered why he can’t do it now. He realized the burden on his work responsibilities, clients, files and likes of that. He wanted to know if he had taken the right decisions until now. But who knows? The real mistake which was hidden until now has suddenly surfaced, maybe for all four of them equally. He, just like his other three friends, still enjoys the five-star hotels, the luxury and benefits but wants to achieve more- not just in terms of money but also in personal life. A good family life and wonderful kids is what he has at this time, 2024 AD and he is bullish about the further prospects. He couldn’t be brought down by difficulties and he loves to fight on. He has a kind of life which is full of dynamism, may be frequent travels, luxuries of all sorts, big money, contacts, big house, a happy satisfied family life, desire to do more, and the ambition that doesn’t die down. He often enjoys his small phone chats with Pallav, Rahul and Kumaresh and remembers the convocation day and how different people went on different tracks. He stays happy with his kind of life which the author calls Red Life.

It’s 2024 AD and the story doesn’t end here.

PS- The characters mentioned are author’s figment of imagination. It is just the imagination not the perception necessarily. The author himself is a friend of these guys and shared the same hostel, once upon a time. White, Blue, Green, Red or something else, is there any answer to this?

Quixotic Dreams

It was pretty fast. I could still hear the whooshing sound as it passed by. Some things accomplished and some left to desire, fair enough, the game is not yet finished or rather it has just begun. In the game of life, you never know where exactly you stand because you don't know when it will come to an end. It's difficult to make precise calculations about what you've got and what you need to have more. Some dreams remain quixotic but what is hope for? Oh, I have to study.

The 80s boy

The 80s boy is at crossroads. When he grew up enough to understand his surroundings, he saw light-bulbs, scooters, telephones( where you put a finger in and rotate till the end, causing a zirrr sound), none of them functionally existing now. The 80s boy was sent to school where he learned and made friends. Every morning he watched his father with his squint eys, who woke up leisurely, did his daily and household chores, read newspaper and went to office on a scooter. The 80s father returned back in evening and enjoyed a cup of tea, watched TV and discussed politics with an occasional guest. A simple dinner, little bit of family discussion where the 80s father told his son to study, cited examples of successful people with a hope that the son would reach there too. Then they all called it a day. The 80s mother loved her child and wanted him to study and become a successful person. The 80s boy was told to stay ahead in the race. The 80s boy took all this seriously and he looked around and pondered about his life. He thought when he will grow up he would live a simple life like his father, but he found that his surroundings, his house, his town inspires him to achieve something bigger which leads to a "better" life. This pursuit of 80s boy changed his world.

The 80s boy studied and became active at school. He participated in different activities, sports to see how good he can be. The 80s boy saw the 80s girls. He was inquisitive, painfully shy and slightly frightened by this foreign creature. Co-existence brought the fact to him that this new kind of human isn't much different except for her long hairs, candied voice and un-boyish choices. Unwittingly, the 80s boy was attracted to the 80s girl and tried to find out why she smiled or flipped her hair, asked a particular thing and did stuff that was weird from his perspective. The 80s boy was dreamy and wanted to learn more about the outside world which he hadn't seen. His curiosity was his inspiration and his dreams were his motivation. The 80s boy wanted to excel wherever he laid his hands, just like his peers. The small battles became fierce and it fuelled a high degree of self-esteem that sometimes bordered with egotism. Competition, politics, finding shortcuts, peer rivalry, shrewdness were the order of 90s and later, the 80s boy soon got accustomed to it and went on without much difficulties. The 80s boy was headstrong, adamant about what he wanted. He knew he had to swim or he will be drowned in the ocean, either by his incompetence or being pulled down by other. He knew he had to cross the ocean, but what lies on the other side? He could just dream about the other side.

The 80s boy kept on fighting for the best things. He won many and lost many. A loss hurt more than a win pleased, because his pursuit made him feel that winning is just habitual while losing is disastrous. He became mechanical and quantified many facets of his life, which shielded small pleasures that were meant to be just felt. The 80s boy didn't rever the cool breeze falling on his face in the evening, his mind was preoccupied with the work that he needs to finish at night. Time flied and the 2000s arrived. The 80s boy came out of his teens and joined the rat race to achieve "something" wilfully, as if he were not already a part of it. He ran after elusive things and was run out. He went after something aggressively and was stumped. He tried to score maximum but was caught somewhere in between. He was given yellow card for his perceived pugnacity, aptly or otherwise. But, the 80s boy was clever and found his own ways to score in the game of life. Every failure made him shrewd and tougher than ever before. He won battles, one after another until he was bemused about the final outcome. What's there at the end, the other side? He remembered his father living a simple yet satisying life, and look, he himself is living a complicated and a no better life, after all this turmoil. The 80s boy wondered about this world, wondered what went wrong either with himself or with the system? The 80s boy, now in his 20s(so-called quarter-life) is perplexed what is worth running after that keeps him going and most importantly, contented? He earns a lot in this globalized world, still he yearns to earn more by putting up some extra fight. He looks unidimensionally at other 80s boys who are ahead of him and so he never realized that he left many behind him. The big things of 80s like aeroplane, AC, car are commonplace now. There are more luxurious and branded things now, though the 80s boy is fully aware of what he wants and what he doesn't. Still, he's just a part of the race. The 80s boy is at crossroads, once again.

Portrayal

"I'm on my quest to demystify this surreptitious world which is increasingly turning hostile towards my feelings. I wish to strike a balance between my idiosyncracies and the societal trends. I wish to know more and more people all over the world. I wish to get hold of my randomly flowing thoughts and save them, that's why I'm here."

This is how I have depicted myself for last three years on my blog. While it is still not utopia for me, I believe it is high time to express myself in a different way.

2007+1

Another year passes by, leaving me more perplexed than ever,

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008

ps- I just spilt an entire cup of coffee on my keyboard, mouse and table. I cleaned but everything is still so sticky. I will just never learn, dear 2008.

ps2- It's a leap year! I'll be drinking tonight.

ps3- I didn't watch the sunset this time, though I used to watch sunset of 31st Dec always.

ps4- December was just great!

Graffiti

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Twilight Sky

Yesterday when I was returning from office, I got to see the fascinating view of the evening sky. I won't make an attempt to explain the beauty, that is for you to see...

19TH DECEMBER 2006, BANGALORE

Serenity!

Building, lake, street-lights and the fading sun...

Perfect Evening Motley

There she goes.. Darkness creeps in..

The last few rays

I attribute these pictures to the sunset of 2006. Maybe with the dawn of 2007, I will show you the morning sky. :))

Merry Christmas

&

Happy New Year 2007

It's been a while

Taking cue from Jayant, I tag myself!!With so many new things popping up around me, It's been a while since I have thought of writing something ...

When I look at stars.... I feel belittled.

Rains... fill me with joy.

Happiness... is getting atleast small instalments when you're hoping for a big one.

Books... say so much, yet so less.

Men/Women... form the milling crowd.

Love is... ought to be truest of all.

God... says looking for me??I am not!

Summer of '69... The best days are always due.

Pride... sucks, even if you're the best!

Life... has various shades. A shade up or down does matter..

Doesn't it?

Lost, Alone, Confused, ...

Last few months have been eventful and brought a flurry of changes. When I was in college, I used to have my dinner alone and I pretty much aced this unsought act of eating alone and quickly. Now that I am living in a flat with college friends(became friends after coming here) spending a lot of time with them including dinner, I still feel alone. I have this queer syndrome of feeling alone when I am in a herd. Infact my whole unstructured thought process, way of living, way of delivering is haunted by a flock of queer syndromes. Cynical, as someone rightly referred me to be, I feel terribly upset when I couldn't convey my truest feelings to few people who matter most. I had a major misunderstanding with my sweetest friend, all due to my queer syndromes, and I wonder if I will be able to sort it out, if I will be able to tell her how important she is. She said that "the greatest crime is to hurt a heart that loves" and I believe I am the greatest sinner.

I stepped out of engineering college to start working as a software engineer. While everything is running as expected on this front, a lot of things are lacking in my personal life. I always try to keep myself busy even when resources are scarce but there are certain things I can't do away with, can't stop thinking about, can't let it go just like that. Thinking back about the opportunities I lost, the relationships which came to my door and I couldn't enliven or the dilemmas which engulfed me till I drowned, I feel it is better to start all over again. Like in a game of Age of Empires when the city is under attack, you build many layers of wall to prevent the rampaging army from entering, build barracks, archery ranges, watch towers hastily and devote all your resources just to build the army, even when you know it is just a peanut which will ultimately succumb. What is the use of resources and faculties if it can't give you life for a while? Finally after delaying the invasion for some time, you run away with the villagers to nearest ally and build all over again and fight back with valour. In my case, unfortunately there is no such ally I can look forward to and fortunately I'm not so hapless that I need to run. I have the resources with me but I need to wait for the right time to strike the iron.The problem lies inside and so does the solution.

PS- I am writing blog after such a long time and that too full of laments. Sorry people! I wanted to post about my college-end and job-start stories but at this point of this time, I guess this blog is more apt. I have decided to do things at the right time.Thanks to Ranjan and Naresh whose blogs inspired me to write.

Feelings, Emotions and What not!

It is expected that by the time a boy turns 22 he is matured enough and well-versed with the intricate complicacies of the system. This great expectation might disappoint you if consider me, since I'm turning 22 tomorrow :) . While this is purely subjective, more important is how does one plan to go further on his path? If you ask me {which you haven't :) but what the heck? this is my blog afterall :D}, it solely depends on one's personal discretion and ambitions. Every individual will do what suits best for him. I and my friends in DA-IICT are on the verge of completion of college life, don't know who will take which path and even the common string(read DA-IICT) has moulded individual personalities in different ways. For me, it wasn't as good as it could have been, but surely it was an enriching experience.

First thing, I grew up as a person. Now this is pretty obvious as when I came here I was 18 and now I'm 22 but alongwith physical growth it is the mental growth which matters more. As an almost-22 year old guy, I'm able to take decisions independently now. My mind is flooded with feelings, emotions and what not! I remember loads of stuff, maybe I'll write it in details in my next blog. Since we're parting our ways and not getting ample time to interact due to BTP, we've to think of something which will help us to interact forever. Can we make a website(like Orkut) where all members of class of 2006 have their homepages? And the activities on that site may include:
Writing testimonials
Updating information about one's whereabouts
Comments Section- Everyone saying good or bad stuff about others
Dinner-table gossips and hostel stories- A section for that
Talk about canteen- various caterers, awesome food, late night snacks etc.
Talk about Sports Complex- TT, Badminton, Football ground etc.
Hostel- Section for each hostel wing
Professors- A section for them
Courses- A section for courses- faves and hates
TAs- A section for TAs
Pics and Videos- Uploading College pics, videos and MMSes
Personal Talks -section where you can reveal crushes, sort out disputes and say things which you always wanted to say
Life after DA-IICT- Aren't you nostalgic?
Make new friends within 2006 batch which you couldn't do during 4 years
Sports Section- Section for various sports
Resource Centre memories
Gandhinagar-The uninhabited vicinity around DA-IICT
Galla Stories- For the uninitiated, its the dhabas just outside college where people talk while taking puffs
Smokers' Club
Drinkers' Club- Watchout for cops, Land of Gandhi afterall
Hang-out Places in G'nagar or A'bad where we had fun- FR, City Pulse, R-World etc.
Girls!!- Can the website be complete without this?
Girls only section- must be atleast viewable by everyone
Semesters 1-8 section
Sector 7 and 8 (where we stayed during 1st sem,for the uninitiated)
CAT and GRE prep days
Placement fever
Entra Talk- Telugu Stuff which we cant understand :)
Daddu's Shop!
Computer Gaming- Isn't DA-IICT a lot about this?
SPI and CPI talks
Projects
Rural Internship- Those were the best days..
Industrial Internship
Research Internship
Reunion- Plans, City meetings etc.

and I'll add more as I remember.

Just imagine! Something like www.da-iict2006.com , where you log in and feel like being back in college!
So what do we need for this??100 GB to start with? How much does it cost? Even a forum( strictly moderated)will serve our purpose, as we have to talk only! If you fellow DA-IICTians clinch this idea then we can go about this. Do let me know asap!

PS- On April Fools Day, I made someone a big fool! The guy was totally shaken up and since he got angry after knowing the reality so I am not putting his name here. For those who love to solve riddles, he is a "happy frog".

Arbit fundas of my life

It has been quite sometime since I have written on my favourite topic, Life et al. Someone (some great person) rightly said that Life is what happens while you plan other things. Life is an equation with too many variables to be taken care of. Things never go the way they were planned to and little do we know what's in store for us. My fundas of life are pretty vague and uncorrelated to what others think nevertheless I'll put some of them for public scrutiny.

1. Anything greater than zero is positive.

he he!Obvious na? Mathematically true but what I mean here is that whatever you get just put it in your bag because it is atleast 'something'. There are people who are dying for what you own. It may be materialistic things like your marks in exam, bank balance, clothes, sexy body etc. or something as basic as clean air, water or freedom. There are people who can't walk or do things on their own, it feels great whenever I realize that I can use my limbs to live gracefully. I just want to have whatever comes in my way.

2. Its hard to pretend to love someone when you really don't. But its harder to pretend you don't love someone when you really do!

I got this as an sms nevertheless I always felt so. Replace the word love with crush to make it more realistic. I feel it very very difficult to hide my feelings whether likes or dislikes. Eyes say everything. I just can't tell a lie looking directly into someone's eyes. However it is rather tough to strike a balance between public relations and my truest feelings.

3. Energy comes with will.

I can give my best only when my heart and mind are in consensus. In case of conflict, I want to go with mind but always end up with decisions taken from heart, guided by emotions. It's difficult to motivate oneself when one is not enthusiastic enough, afterall one can deceive anyone else but not oneself.

4. Freedom

What one should seek forever..No shackles, no barriers... Utopia!

5. If two distinct things are equally good and bad (if at all measurable!), then bad thing will overrule good one.

Pessimistic, not really!! Do we ever care if something good happen in our lives? We keep finding instances of Murphy's law in our lives but we never see the good things happening to us. The queue in which one stand moves slowest sometimes, but it does move faster also at various occasions. Happiness is ephemeral.

6. God is non-existent.

If it is there, what is it doing?If something goes haywire, some calamity strikes or everything goes kaput then it is considered to be God's wrath and when something fortuitous event occurs, God takes all the credit!! Good people die disgracefully without any fault on their part, innocent people are killed, rich exploits poor and weak, corrupt people flourish, women are raped and despite of all that if one thinks God is taking care of this world, I can't help it.

7. The sum total of all positive and negative virtues is not zero.

Optimistic is one who thinks there are more +ve than -ve and pessimistic thinks other way round. I keep vacillating. My other definition of optimist is one who considers zero to be positive and pessimist considers negative.

8. After infinity, minus infinity comes.

Some arbit mathematics..

9. If a path is changed before reaching destination you'll never reach the same destination. However, priorities change as life moves on.

Consider a sphere(or any solid) in your hand and any two points as starting point(source) and ending point(destination). Start from source and traverse in any direction to reach the destination and change the direction(or path) somewhere before reaching the destination. You'll never reach the same destination. Even if the path is changed more than once, the probability to reach same destination is theoretically zero. So if you wanna stick to something make sure you are there till the end. More advisable is to be flexible.

That is enough I guess. These were some of my arbit fundas which delineates my staccato lifestyle. Absurdity and Ingenuity are relative. :)

PS- The Bird Flu Scare has been overhyped, totally blown out of proportion. It is restricted to a very small area near Maharashtra-Gujarat border. Those who have stopped eating chicken may resume it asap.

Contentment

I've always wanted more, and some more, more than what I have, more than what I have achieved. I don't think I'm greedy, not that I covet others' possessions (confession:rarely yes) but I haven't been content either. I was thinking about this, how content I've been in changing times. Obviously I was most satisfied when I was in infancy and during early school days, but as life progressed expectations and objectives collided with effort, luck and willingness. Recent years have seen a lot of changes in all facets of life and I've been confused most of the times. Guess that's what happens when you grow up.

I considered each and every year of my life and I analyzed how content I was.The graph below shows my level of contentment w.r.t. years(1984-2006 feb). This is the result of ennui @4 AM and the fact that blog is a place where one can whine officially!

It's all about being me!!

Nothing new, It's all about being me. Infact this whole blogspace is about me, but this blog is more about me. I've been tagged by Steve about a fortnight ago, but procrastination is my birth right. Anyways I've been really busy this time, not that usual vagrant's quandaries, but some serious soul-searching, reason being CAT preparation. I have been pondering these days on education,competition, dynamics of success and failure etc. Millions of students study and only few excel, and competition??You get one more mark and you're through and one less you're a cabbage! Is there any authoritative way to churn out good students on a massive scale? A two hour exam is just not enough to test someone's aptitude earned in a lifetime, but in life not everything is as per our wishes. Let's take whatever comes.
Coming back to life, I would like to thank Steve for tagging me. I always wanted to be tagged, but that was a secret. I would like to say 20 things about me...

1. Girls keep ogling at me all the time. Wherever I go, whatever I do, but that doesn't make me self-consious at all! I dont know their ulterior motive, but then you never know what goes inside a girl's psyche. Do I look funny?

2. I'm fascinated by Banks. My father was a Bank Manager and so I've been knowing a lot about banks since early childhood. Those ledgers, vouchers, pass book, applications fill me with joy. Even the menial drudgeries of a bank clerk's job seems to be so enticing.

3. Something went wrong with me, may be when I was an embryo. As a result, all my choices are obscure! No one likes my favourite dish, no one likes my favourite player and my favourite movies etc. etc. In any given set of n items, the item I will choose will be the item with least probability of selection. So the more unpredicatble you are, more predictable you become. Paradoxes rule my life.

4. I love numbers. I've been adding, subtracting, mutliplying, dividing numbers just for the sake of fun since when I was a kid. During my school days, I used to pass time in classroom by playing with numbers.

5. I like wearing full-shirts and cotton trousers. I like clothes of one colour only, not cheques, stripes or any modern art. Plain shirts are sober.

6. I believe that all battles are won in mind and real world is just the physical simulation.

7. I am very bad at explaining things. Ask me to describe the moon, I will start with sun and earth and then I will try to find out the relative distances and then may be I'll describe the colour, shape, size, history etc.

8. I'm ambivalent like hell, if I think of 'A', the next thing which comes into my mind is 'not A'. Consequently, a lot of my energy and time is diddled away fighting with myself.

9. Nostalgia, sigh!!! How much I remember about my past, though uneventful, but thanks to good memory I still have faint pictures of times gone by. There are quite a few things which I would like to change, if I happen to go back to the past.

10. I don't compromise to the greatest possible extent. I dont like to drag myself down to something, to accept a policy which is not in accordance with my innermost feelings. I accept people the way they are, and I expect the same.

11. I would like to learn Violin. Melancholic tunes fills my heart with pleasure.

12. I yearn to be a sportsman. I've spent a lot of time at ground, but I never mastered any game. How much will I love to win a match on my own!!

13. I don't need drugs to hallucinate. I live in dreamworld for a long long time. The world is better there.

14. I'm ambitious but I don't think too high. Sky's the limit, but for me a big cloud will suffice :). My policy for life -" Aim for the moon, you'll end up in higher stratosphere someday."

15. I love to drive fast. My parents used to get complains every alternate day that your son is driving too rash. But that is what they think, I think I take calculated risks, never had any serious accidents. The induction principle does not apply in every realm of life, however.

16. I love summers and scorching heat. My mind works at its best when I'm drenched in sweat.

17. I love fruits. Whenever I have an opportunity, I live mostly on a fruit diet. That's the secret of my slim and trim figure :)

18. It is only me who understands my jokes. If you are finding this post funny, you're becoming like me. You're warned!

19. Kids love me. True!! I've great amicability with kids. Kids stop crying when I hold them up.

20. I wish this world were a better place with lesser problems, higher congruence and above all contented! I'd like to play my role in making this world a better place. Ideas are welcome.

Phew!! Now I've been through this ordeal so I would like some more to suffer, my evil tendencies point towards Amiya, Jayant, Raj and Milo!!
Put on your thinking caps, and get down to work! Peace!

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Those days, when we blogged...

Hey! If you're a regular blogger, or an irregular blogger, or a frequent blog visitor, or an infrequent blog visitor, or a one-time blog visitor or at least heard of people who write blogs, you could have remembered the ancient glorious days of blogging. There was passion which tailored our blogs, there were ideas which enthralled or were supposed to enthrall blog-readers, there was a burgeoning urge to express our views, there were no barriers and we were free to choose anything and everything. Those days, when we blogged, we eagerly waited for others to express themselves and if something opposed our belief, we were overly keen to put forth our debatable views.

Time has changed. In DA-IICT, everyone is busy now. All we fourth yearites are slogging for CAT, GRE whatever and now midterms are around the corner. I firmly believe that an efficient person should be able to separate two distinct domains of life so that they don't interfere. With respect to this, I've failed without fail. Its not like we're mugging 10 hours a day, not anyone I'm sure, but this is more because we've put ourselves in an invisible cage. Even when we're not studying, we either tend to think about it or worry about the things which are beyond our control. I believe I'm one of the least concerned person about exams, but now even I'm behaving like a complete idiot. Even on the eve of Annual Examination, me(and Giri) used to play. On one such day,I blogged too.

What delineates this misery? First one is pretty immanent, we're all lazy sloth. Our inner self still considers spending time infront of computer screen a way of passing time, so during days with high academic workload we avoid it as much as possible. Blogging is considered to be a creative and innovative way to bakar. Wasn't it always like that? A blog a fortnight will not harm. Come on, atleast consider blogs as a practice for RC, try to understand the tone of the passage and think if you're likely to agree or disagree with the author. That will really help :) Best of luck.

Trance

People, I really don't know what to write. So much has happened recently but I'm unable to pen down. I compose the first paragraph and then delete it, don't know why??Probably this is what they call writer's block, but don't worry, I WILL BOUNCE BACK!! These days I'm living in trance, trying to resume CAT preparation, thinking about future, getting lost in oblivion, reveries ,12 hrs sleep, dreams and many more.
And for Gandhinagar people, so far Praneet, Prasoon, Vivek, Bhavesh and myself have clinched the idea of going to Indroda Nature Park, can we have some more??Please respond in a day or two.
Why am I just a speck of dust?