Letters II

Dear Blogger-in-me,

It's our first meet this year. Lost thoughts need translation in you.

Stay intruding,
A.

Dear Last-5-years,


A roller-coaster swivels in a fixed path at least. You turned me upside down in whichever way you wanted. I got you though.


Stay vigorous,
A.

Dear Gurgaon,

I know you were forced to become a city. Be home to the visitors. Settle the dust. I can feel it everywhere.

Stay reasonably priced,
A.

Dear SMS,


You're so good when you arrive when I want you to. So annoying when you're bombarded to everyone. 


Stay chiming,
A.

Dear Age,

Grow proportionately with necessary ingredients. Enough said.

Stay monotonically increasing(until I want),
A.

Dear Biryani/Haleem,


I missed you this Eid. Not just Eid, I miss you often.


Stay served,
A.

Dear Maid,

Be regular and bring some variety in the food. It's not a jail's kitchen, remember.

Stay regular,
A.

Dear Quakes,


I see you coming often. Choose well.


Stay unmoved,
A.

Dear Twitter,

How much philosophical crap can you tolerate? #fail

Stay propagating,
A.

Dear King,


Your enthusiasm towards life is an inspiration.


Stay happy,
A.

Dear Friends-who-got-married,

Looks like you all got a good deal. Reappear. Resurface.

Stay content,
A.

Dear Nagging Problems,


The attenuation is just at the right level. Certains things are approaching.


Stay diminishing,
A.

Dear West Delhi,

I miss your brimming markets, kebabs and culture. Shall we meet soon?

Stay Punjabi-ish.
A.

Dear Filter Coffee,


The aroma and richness is often missing. Drink you more.


Stay refreshing,
A.

Dear Rel,

Meet, Converge and keep your vices away.

Stay tuned,
A.

Dear Perl,


You make it so simpler. You're so fast.


Stay matching,
A.

Dear Friends-who-did-MBA,

Use public transport sometimes.

Stay climbing,
A.

Letters

Dear Kerala,

Miss your weather, greenery, hills and the beaches and lot more. Make yourself happen once more.

Stay slanted,

A.

Dear Blogger,

How many times I have promised you that you’ll get to see me more often? Thought translation in words is what I need.

Stay active,

A.

Dear Facebook,

You’re a part of life that I don’t really need. Get some more entertaining apps next year, Okay?

Stay up,

A.

Dear Mumbai,

Not your fault but let me stay away from you. We will meet on trips and tours.

Stay chaotic,

A.

Dear Delhi,

Keep chucking IDD. You’re place to be, where I want to be. Translate few things to real plane.

Stay Glittering,

A.

Dear BM,

Really enjoyed the late-night intense chats on society, politics and career. Of course, we can’t convince each other. J

Stay irreverent,

A.

Dear IIMK,

What two years of pleasant peaceful stay you gave me! Plus lot of things to talk about, hope you get more sensible people to walk on you. :)

Stay rainy,

A.

Dear Winters,

You’re back after a decade in my life. I liked your presence.

Stay frozen,

A.

Dear Nights,

Why don’t you let me sleep?

Stay dark,
A.

Dear Bike,

I wish certain other things were as faithful as you. Sorry for not putting oil when you needed it.

Stay speeding,

A.

Dear K F,

Thanks for everything.

Stay chirpy.

A.

Dear Samsung,

Make better phones. Better touch phones.

Stay ringing,

A.

Dear Student Life,

You’re missed. I don’t know if this is the end of you. You rocked.

Stay in memories,

A.

Dear Work life,

You’re good but you need to get better. Don’t stay forever.

Stay chilled,

A.

Dear J G,

I trust you. Thanks for the good times.

Stay delighted,

A.

Dear Idea,

Your network is missed often. Somehow you’re always associated with easier phase of life.

Stay connected,

A.

Dear Diary,

Let’s be friends again.

See you everyday,

A.

Dear Thoughts,

Stay streamlined. Stay random.Stay quixotic.

Love,

A.

Dear Micro-finance,

Stop looting people in the name of philanthropy. Your bubble will burst soon.

Stay controlled,

A.

Dear 2010,

Never come back. You pleased and displeased x2.

Rest,

A.

Hell

General asshats
Circle I Limbo

The Pope
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Capitalists
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Bill Gates
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Religious People
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Barack Obama
Circle VII Burning Sands

Narendra Modi
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Unanswered Questions

It's funny that I like to do things when I know exactly what little I can get. It's even more funnier that when I don't know what I will get, I still get on to do it and I get what I don't really expect. I know that I know a little of this world and by far I've been a pawn that has been ably supported. What lies ahead is question meant for strategists, forecasters, planners and the likes. Funnily enough, I like to be classified among them even though I'm at best a speculator. I seek answers all the time. I'm generally not really happy with things happening around or the way they happen or the way they are portrayed. I've little authority over the proceedings but I can obviously fight with myself for not being able to change or at least reason it out. The cliched peace of mind has been lacking perennially. With just few months of study remaining, I got to find more of what I can. Library is the place to be and books are the things to aid. Society and all of the existential trash will continue to haunt. History is not meant for archaeologists only but for everyone who treads on the same ground. Pure capitalism leads to pure hedonism, something that should be abstained from. After all, we're only ordinary men. Like fishes in a bowl, trying to jump to a bigger bowl and why? That's another question.

Shades of Life

Long train journeys force you to think, either by lack of any excitement nearby or the sight of meadows, hills, rural people etc. make you philosophical. I recently made a two thousand six hundred thirty eight kilometers long journey from an idyllic Malyali town to the plains of Bihar. It wasn’t most stimulating of the journeys but I met an interesting set of people who led different kind of lifestyles and had few things in common. I also got to read a few captivating books like Curfewed Night by Basharat Peer. It was the first-hand account of the dreaded life in Kashmir by a Muslim and it wasn’t about the politics, partition, historical blunders or the best solution; it was about a common man’s life in the badlands of Kashmir, a rather simple life. If I think about what causes diversity in life across the globe, there are lot more things than history and geography only. Think about life of few people down here:

-A Muslim navy officer posted at INS Dronacharya, who hails from West Bengal and likes to read and do orkutting
-A newly married lady from Bihar, who is bored in Cochin and wants to come back to her native place with her young son so that she can enjoy her time (PS: leaving husband behind)
-An old Mallu lady who lives with her family and doesn’t travel much or know about the world
-A normal middleclass self-indulgent youth who is in army and continues to bask in the glory
-A 2 yr old kid who is fed properly, likes to jump around and considers everything a toy
-An educated self-centered semi-urban youth concerned with his career, life ahead and goes by his own interpretations of things
-A hardworking semi-literate guy who works in a big city and sends his earnings to his family in the village
-A 17 year old rich and beautiful estrogen-filled girl who parties around and changes boyfriend(s) before expiry date
-A little playful Rajasthani girl who leads a nomadic life
-An educated working man with a settled family and job and likes to criticize politics and western culture
-A gossipmonger housewife who likes to assert power over her husband and children
-A person who does a fraud and runs away with lot of money to a different place
-A person living on mountains, who drinks water from the running stream nearby


There are plenty and may be you can identify yourself with some of them. I met the first five mentioned above, on the same train and sixth being myself. If I were born in Kashmir, I would be used to drinking Kahwa, getting frisked at every few steps, being tormented by security and hearing stories of people dying around or forced to either by militants or the not-so-well-known barbarism of Indian army. If I were an Eskimo, I would probably be concerned about extreme winter and storage of food. If I were a Guitarist, I would probably be concerned with making new music.

There are varying degrees of association with different things in life. It is not just a matter of personal preference. Probably most important factor is the way we are brought up. A kid brought up in extremely conservative environment may turn out to be same or just the opposite. A kid who goes to a posh school will have different ideology than a simple small town kid. A chic girl who is used to being the centre of attraction is more likely to develop a superfluous attitude than a simpler unassuming counterpart. Family, Friends and Companions are the initial platforms where one starts to crawl, but eventually all that knowledge gets drowned in the world and the remains are what the individual chooses to retain. Politics affect one in a great way or else Bengalis and Malyalis wouldn’t be associated with communism. A pure capitalist would be a rather brutal result-oriented individual than a socialist who would seek equality in various aspects. A class topper would have different group dynamics than a talkative rule-defying kid at the backbench. I am glad I wasn’t born in a poor Nigerian family, an illiterate family in Afghanistan or among the hoodlums of Rio De Janeiro. The effect of society has been variegated on different individuals. Not all was chosen by an individual, and that’s what sets one apart, right from the beginning.

The Invisible Barriers

You refers to someone who is normal and sufficiently social. We is a set of such people.

You go around and you meet people, hundreds of them, all unique in their own special way. You like some, you don't like some and most of them fall in the gray zone. Still you are with the set of people that you've chosen whether its friends, partners, shopkeepers whatever. Do we actually choose the people we want to be with or it is just a matter of chance? Remember the first day you went to school. You sat with someone and shared your lunch. You became friends with them because you knew them since they were kids, but you didn't get to choose them. You didn't get to choose your parents and siblings but still you're happy and consider yourself lucky. You won a game of chance. Understandably, you didn't control much of these proceedings. Let's move further. You grow a sane head on your shoulders. You're in college now, lets say, a residential college. You land up in a hostel and meet the other people around you. You like them and roam around with them. What if, you landed in some other hostel with different set of people? You will still like them and roam around with them. But which case is better, former or latter? Real life samples are definitely not normally distributed. You're a victim of chance. You tend to like the surroundings, which is arguably the best thing to do. What else can you do? Go around and test all possible samples of people and choose the best fit for yourself? Too much of unwarranted work to do. Imagine yourself standing in a lift with a capacity of 8 people, imagine it's full. What do you do? Keep your head down and pretend to be composed individual who's happy with himself. You keep looking at the lift panel from the corner of your eyes and when you've to leave, you leave with a bit of formalities that you probably taught yourself. This isn't limited to lift, you've started doing it in all spheres of life. You have developed invisible barriers. You don't talk without a reason and when there is a reason you talk a lot. If you can't talk even when you've a reason, you're labeled as a dork, a loner or whatever. When did you develop these invisible barriers, which percolated to all facets of your personality? May be you developed those invisible barriers because you stayed with people who had them always. But you didn't choose them, you were just a victim of chance. The invisible barriers is just a scar then. You couldn't go out of your comfort zone, you never tried to meet people that you may like. You were told that a path exists, its safe and it will take you to success. You followed that path. You're not a fool to devise a new way in the wilderness. You never kept yourself alone because you don't like it that way. You stayed with people that were around you, the ones that you didn't choose, the ones you got by chance. You're expecting a conclusion here because you don't do anything without expectations, without a reason. You don't laugh without a reason rather you laugh at those who laugh without a reason. You work for yourself, for your folks and take pride in that. Probably you're doing all right things. You're happy. You've an active social life. You learn lessons from life and become stronger. You make those invisible barriers a part of your life and you don't choose. You take whatever is bestowed upon you. You've chosen the easy way out, you're smart. You'll never go into the wild.

Days

Caged in glass walls, he was hopping from one end to the other. They paid him and he got poorer. He was seeking solace, to pass his days, unperturbed in a silent shell created by himself, for himself. It is not exactly the unbridled freedom one hopes for, there isn't any as we all have history and future to deal with. He hasn't got any company as he walks on a path where there are many companions. The contradictions rule the roost. A ray of light which gave immense ephemeral pleasure disappeared at once. It had to someday, you can't keep on playing with fire forever without burning your hands. Days pass by and he ticks away the moments that make a dull day while trying hard not to be disillusioned. There are so many flickering things around and they all look the same. There are so many ramifications and he doesn't know if they all converge. He treads on his path like a sheep in the flock.

Quixotic Dreams

It was pretty fast. I could still hear the whooshing sound as it passed by. Some things accomplished and some left to desire, fair enough, the game is not yet finished or rather it has just begun. In the game of life, you never know where exactly you stand because you don't know when it will come to an end. It's difficult to make precise calculations about what you've got and what you need to have more. Some dreams remain quixotic but what is hope for? Oh, I have to study.

The 80s boy

The 80s boy is at crossroads. When he grew up enough to understand his surroundings, he saw light-bulbs, scooters, telephones( where you put a finger in and rotate till the end, causing a zirrr sound), none of them functionally existing now. The 80s boy was sent to school where he learned and made friends. Every morning he watched his father with his squint eys, who woke up leisurely, did his daily and household chores, read newspaper and went to office on a scooter. The 80s father returned back in evening and enjoyed a cup of tea, watched TV and discussed politics with an occasional guest. A simple dinner, little bit of family discussion where the 80s father told his son to study, cited examples of successful people with a hope that the son would reach there too. Then they all called it a day. The 80s mother loved her child and wanted him to study and become a successful person. The 80s boy was told to stay ahead in the race. The 80s boy took all this seriously and he looked around and pondered about his life. He thought when he will grow up he would live a simple life like his father, but he found that his surroundings, his house, his town inspires him to achieve something bigger which leads to a "better" life. This pursuit of 80s boy changed his world.

The 80s boy studied and became active at school. He participated in different activities, sports to see how good he can be. The 80s boy saw the 80s girls. He was inquisitive, painfully shy and slightly frightened by this foreign creature. Co-existence brought the fact to him that this new kind of human isn't much different except for her long hairs, candied voice and un-boyish choices. Unwittingly, the 80s boy was attracted to the 80s girl and tried to find out why she smiled or flipped her hair, asked a particular thing and did stuff that was weird from his perspective. The 80s boy was dreamy and wanted to learn more about the outside world which he hadn't seen. His curiosity was his inspiration and his dreams were his motivation. The 80s boy wanted to excel wherever he laid his hands, just like his peers. The small battles became fierce and it fuelled a high degree of self-esteem that sometimes bordered with egotism. Competition, politics, finding shortcuts, peer rivalry, shrewdness were the order of 90s and later, the 80s boy soon got accustomed to it and went on without much difficulties. The 80s boy was headstrong, adamant about what he wanted. He knew he had to swim or he will be drowned in the ocean, either by his incompetence or being pulled down by other. He knew he had to cross the ocean, but what lies on the other side? He could just dream about the other side.

The 80s boy kept on fighting for the best things. He won many and lost many. A loss hurt more than a win pleased, because his pursuit made him feel that winning is just habitual while losing is disastrous. He became mechanical and quantified many facets of his life, which shielded small pleasures that were meant to be just felt. The 80s boy didn't rever the cool breeze falling on his face in the evening, his mind was preoccupied with the work that he needs to finish at night. Time flied and the 2000s arrived. The 80s boy came out of his teens and joined the rat race to achieve "something" wilfully, as if he were not already a part of it. He ran after elusive things and was run out. He went after something aggressively and was stumped. He tried to score maximum but was caught somewhere in between. He was given yellow card for his perceived pugnacity, aptly or otherwise. But, the 80s boy was clever and found his own ways to score in the game of life. Every failure made him shrewd and tougher than ever before. He won battles, one after another until he was bemused about the final outcome. What's there at the end, the other side? He remembered his father living a simple yet satisying life, and look, he himself is living a complicated and a no better life, after all this turmoil. The 80s boy wondered about this world, wondered what went wrong either with himself or with the system? The 80s boy, now in his 20s(so-called quarter-life) is perplexed what is worth running after that keeps him going and most importantly, contented? He earns a lot in this globalized world, still he yearns to earn more by putting up some extra fight. He looks unidimensionally at other 80s boys who are ahead of him and so he never realized that he left many behind him. The big things of 80s like aeroplane, AC, car are commonplace now. There are more luxurious and branded things now, though the 80s boy is fully aware of what he wants and what he doesn't. Still, he's just a part of the race. The 80s boy is at crossroads, once again.

Portrayal

"I'm on my quest to demystify this surreptitious world which is increasingly turning hostile towards my feelings. I wish to strike a balance between my idiosyncracies and the societal trends. I wish to know more and more people all over the world. I wish to get hold of my randomly flowing thoughts and save them, that's why I'm here."

This is how I have depicted myself for last three years on my blog. While it is still not utopia for me, I believe it is high time to express myself in a different way.

su - ozak

I'm done! My first job is over. I've clicked pictures here and there, burnt 3.07 GB of nostalgia and bid goodbye to many. Right now, I've completed all the exit formalities and am waiting for a friend to come. Incidentally, it's one of my friend's birthday today so I don't have to go back home. The ride back home alone would have been melancholic as I'm leaving some really good stuff behind me. It was great -coming out of college-moving to a big city-few friends to accompany-work-learn-be responsible-work-learn- ... . I've learnt more in last 1½ than I did in 4 years of engineering. Learning by experience is the best way to learn.

I was able to sucessfully pursue the dream. It might appear a bit dry that I was just keen on changing a job and called it the dream? Dreams aren't supposed to be such hackneyed stuff. But the way I carried myself loosely in last few years, it was no less than a dream.

I hated outlook before coming to office. I thought it's one of the most useless softwares made my microsoft which complicates things, opens virus attachments unwarrantedly and acts sophisticated to give you a "corporate" feel. It was good to have a mind shift by experience. Software engineer- An insider's view and An outsider's view are way too different. I intend to write it in detail sometime later. Lastly it might be lingering in your mind, why this blog is titled su - ozak? It's a linux command that I used atleast 25 times in my daily work, so it looks apt to name it this way. su is switch user ozak was my linux ID with special admin privileges that I used for logging and doing stuff as a part of my job responsibility that a normal developer was not supposed to do.

Bangalore is a pretty nice place, it just needs a bit of self-policing to make itself nicer! Hyderabad, I'm pretty sure it would be nice and I've hordes of Hyderabad lovers around me. Biryani is good nonetheless! kill -9 0

It's been a while

Taking cue from Jayant, I tag myself!!With so many new things popping up around me, It's been a while since I have thought of writing something ...

When I look at stars.... I feel belittled.

Rains... fill me with joy.

Happiness... is getting atleast small instalments when you're hoping for a big one.

Books... say so much, yet so less.

Men/Women... form the milling crowd.

Love is... ought to be truest of all.

God... says looking for me??I am not!

Summer of '69... The best days are always due.

Pride... sucks, even if you're the best!

Life... has various shades. A shade up or down does matter..

Doesn't it?

Lost, Alone, Confused, ...

Last few months have been eventful and brought a flurry of changes. When I was in college, I used to have my dinner alone and I pretty much aced this unsought act of eating alone and quickly. Now that I am living in a flat with college friends(became friends after coming here) spending a lot of time with them including dinner, I still feel alone. I have this queer syndrome of feeling alone when I am in a herd. Infact my whole unstructured thought process, way of living, way of delivering is haunted by a flock of queer syndromes. Cynical, as someone rightly referred me to be, I feel terribly upset when I couldn't convey my truest feelings to few people who matter most. I had a major misunderstanding with my sweetest friend, all due to my queer syndromes, and I wonder if I will be able to sort it out, if I will be able to tell her how important she is. She said that "the greatest crime is to hurt a heart that loves" and I believe I am the greatest sinner.

I stepped out of engineering college to start working as a software engineer. While everything is running as expected on this front, a lot of things are lacking in my personal life. I always try to keep myself busy even when resources are scarce but there are certain things I can't do away with, can't stop thinking about, can't let it go just like that. Thinking back about the opportunities I lost, the relationships which came to my door and I couldn't enliven or the dilemmas which engulfed me till I drowned, I feel it is better to start all over again. Like in a game of Age of Empires when the city is under attack, you build many layers of wall to prevent the rampaging army from entering, build barracks, archery ranges, watch towers hastily and devote all your resources just to build the army, even when you know it is just a peanut which will ultimately succumb. What is the use of resources and faculties if it can't give you life for a while? Finally after delaying the invasion for some time, you run away with the villagers to nearest ally and build all over again and fight back with valour. In my case, unfortunately there is no such ally I can look forward to and fortunately I'm not so hapless that I need to run. I have the resources with me but I need to wait for the right time to strike the iron.The problem lies inside and so does the solution.

PS- I am writing blog after such a long time and that too full of laments. Sorry people! I wanted to post about my college-end and job-start stories but at this point of this time, I guess this blog is more apt. I have decided to do things at the right time.Thanks to Ranjan and Naresh whose blogs inspired me to write.

Arbit fundas of my life

It has been quite sometime since I have written on my favourite topic, Life et al. Someone (some great person) rightly said that Life is what happens while you plan other things. Life is an equation with too many variables to be taken care of. Things never go the way they were planned to and little do we know what's in store for us. My fundas of life are pretty vague and uncorrelated to what others think nevertheless I'll put some of them for public scrutiny.

1. Anything greater than zero is positive.

he he!Obvious na? Mathematically true but what I mean here is that whatever you get just put it in your bag because it is atleast 'something'. There are people who are dying for what you own. It may be materialistic things like your marks in exam, bank balance, clothes, sexy body etc. or something as basic as clean air, water or freedom. There are people who can't walk or do things on their own, it feels great whenever I realize that I can use my limbs to live gracefully. I just want to have whatever comes in my way.

2. Its hard to pretend to love someone when you really don't. But its harder to pretend you don't love someone when you really do!

I got this as an sms nevertheless I always felt so. Replace the word love with crush to make it more realistic. I feel it very very difficult to hide my feelings whether likes or dislikes. Eyes say everything. I just can't tell a lie looking directly into someone's eyes. However it is rather tough to strike a balance between public relations and my truest feelings.

3. Energy comes with will.

I can give my best only when my heart and mind are in consensus. In case of conflict, I want to go with mind but always end up with decisions taken from heart, guided by emotions. It's difficult to motivate oneself when one is not enthusiastic enough, afterall one can deceive anyone else but not oneself.

4. Freedom

What one should seek forever..No shackles, no barriers... Utopia!

5. If two distinct things are equally good and bad (if at all measurable!), then bad thing will overrule good one.

Pessimistic, not really!! Do we ever care if something good happen in our lives? We keep finding instances of Murphy's law in our lives but we never see the good things happening to us. The queue in which one stand moves slowest sometimes, but it does move faster also at various occasions. Happiness is ephemeral.

6. God is non-existent.

If it is there, what is it doing?If something goes haywire, some calamity strikes or everything goes kaput then it is considered to be God's wrath and when something fortuitous event occurs, God takes all the credit!! Good people die disgracefully without any fault on their part, innocent people are killed, rich exploits poor and weak, corrupt people flourish, women are raped and despite of all that if one thinks God is taking care of this world, I can't help it.

7. The sum total of all positive and negative virtues is not zero.

Optimistic is one who thinks there are more +ve than -ve and pessimistic thinks other way round. I keep vacillating. My other definition of optimist is one who considers zero to be positive and pessimist considers negative.

8. After infinity, minus infinity comes.

Some arbit mathematics..

9. If a path is changed before reaching destination you'll never reach the same destination. However, priorities change as life moves on.

Consider a sphere(or any solid) in your hand and any two points as starting point(source) and ending point(destination). Start from source and traverse in any direction to reach the destination and change the direction(or path) somewhere before reaching the destination. You'll never reach the same destination. Even if the path is changed more than once, the probability to reach same destination is theoretically zero. So if you wanna stick to something make sure you are there till the end. More advisable is to be flexible.

That is enough I guess. These were some of my arbit fundas which delineates my staccato lifestyle. Absurdity and Ingenuity are relative. :)

PS- The Bird Flu Scare has been overhyped, totally blown out of proportion. It is restricted to a very small area near Maharashtra-Gujarat border. Those who have stopped eating chicken may resume it asap.

Contentment

I've always wanted more, and some more, more than what I have, more than what I have achieved. I don't think I'm greedy, not that I covet others' possessions (confession:rarely yes) but I haven't been content either. I was thinking about this, how content I've been in changing times. Obviously I was most satisfied when I was in infancy and during early school days, but as life progressed expectations and objectives collided with effort, luck and willingness. Recent years have seen a lot of changes in all facets of life and I've been confused most of the times. Guess that's what happens when you grow up.

I considered each and every year of my life and I analyzed how content I was.The graph below shows my level of contentment w.r.t. years(1984-2006 feb). This is the result of ennui @4 AM and the fact that blog is a place where one can whine officially!

Those days, when we blogged...

Hey! If you're a regular blogger, or an irregular blogger, or a frequent blog visitor, or an infrequent blog visitor, or a one-time blog visitor or at least heard of people who write blogs, you could have remembered the ancient glorious days of blogging. There was passion which tailored our blogs, there were ideas which enthralled or were supposed to enthrall blog-readers, there was a burgeoning urge to express our views, there were no barriers and we were free to choose anything and everything. Those days, when we blogged, we eagerly waited for others to express themselves and if something opposed our belief, we were overly keen to put forth our debatable views.

Time has changed. In DA-IICT, everyone is busy now. All we fourth yearites are slogging for CAT, GRE whatever and now midterms are around the corner. I firmly believe that an efficient person should be able to separate two distinct domains of life so that they don't interfere. With respect to this, I've failed without fail. Its not like we're mugging 10 hours a day, not anyone I'm sure, but this is more because we've put ourselves in an invisible cage. Even when we're not studying, we either tend to think about it or worry about the things which are beyond our control. I believe I'm one of the least concerned person about exams, but now even I'm behaving like a complete idiot. Even on the eve of Annual Examination, me(and Giri) used to play. On one such day,I blogged too.

What delineates this misery? First one is pretty immanent, we're all lazy sloth. Our inner self still considers spending time infront of computer screen a way of passing time, so during days with high academic workload we avoid it as much as possible. Blogging is considered to be a creative and innovative way to bakar. Wasn't it always like that? A blog a fortnight will not harm. Come on, atleast consider blogs as a practice for RC, try to understand the tone of the passage and think if you're likely to agree or disagree with the author. That will really help :) Best of luck.

Trance

People, I really don't know what to write. So much has happened recently but I'm unable to pen down. I compose the first paragraph and then delete it, don't know why??Probably this is what they call writer's block, but don't worry, I WILL BOUNCE BACK!! These days I'm living in trance, trying to resume CAT preparation, thinking about future, getting lost in oblivion, reveries ,12 hrs sleep, dreams and many more.
And for Gandhinagar people, so far Praneet, Prasoon, Vivek, Bhavesh and myself have clinched the idea of going to Indroda Nature Park, can we have some more??Please respond in a day or two.
Why am I just a speck of dust?

Renaissance

Time travels unidirectionally and continually. Life is a chronology of events. Everything fades away with time but sometimes I wonder how some experiences are rejuvenated. There are certain things which follow a fixed cycle of time like day night, seasons, crops etc. which are tenable but at the same time certain phenomena strike back off guard. I remember few days ago a person(ex-tenant) asked me for my number. I gave him my home's landline number. He was bent down to write it on a piece of paper and suddenly he rolled his eyes to look up impressively and said "oh, you have a landline no.!" and I just smiled and replied politely "yeah, it's a reliance landline." So what is the whole idea??? Mobiles have outnumbered landlines, not just in quantity but also in popularity and ease of use. Youngsters, especially girls, have mobiles all the time in their hands. This is the reason why my uncle was surprised to know that I've a landline number too, and settled people these days choose landline over mobiles thanks to radiation, high rates and senility.

One of my online friend wrote in her profile that she doesn't like shorthand sms-lingoed typing, nor do I. At one time it was even a fashion to make grammar mistakes intentionally( i cum for I will come) alongwith raping spellings, but now I see many people showing their faith in english grammar. I agree it saves time, but don't you think it is avoidable, if possible? Thanks to blogging, I'm back to real English. Fashion repeats itself, very true. There was a time when it was jeans, jeans and blue jeans everywhere and now people have shifted back to good old trousers. Thankfully I was never guided by jeans mania, readymade trousers looks good, feels good, costs good and is good. Girls were eager to shed their clothes one time but now I feel that full length trousers/jeans and top have become a feminine symbolism on most general occasions. However skirts are more sexier as they leave a scope for imagination to run wild!

When I was a school kid, I discovered chess and I liked it a lot. I asked my other friends to play with me, and they retorted back " Are you a nerd? Chess is for old people and politicians." and I consider this as a highly offensive and derogatory remark, but time has changed. Now when you hear someone playing chess, the general impression is that the person has intellect, patience and sharp thinking abilities. Playing chess is nowadays not considered to be old-fashioned, thats very good. There is a tremendous uprise in cultural restaurants like the ones where you'll get to feel like village, being served on plant leaves by waiters dressed as villagers. Hubble-Bubble(Hookah) have found a decent place among all classes of people esp. youngsters. These entities were considered outmoded once, but now with time they are back in a city resident's life.

What brings them back in action? We have not reached at a saturation level where nothing else can be invented anymore, but then why do we redeem outdated stuff? One reasoning I propose is that we may not pretend but from inside we consider too much modernization as a fad and we have some sense of cultural heritage. We accept new world of ATMs, wi-fi readily, but we do not wish to let go what our previous generation has accomplished. This way we maintain a delicate balance between modernity and old practices and extract the best out of both worlds.

And life goes on...

Yesteryear have gone by and life has changed. So much has happened, so much has transformed, sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, happiness, sadness and all flavours, and life goes on. Come what may, life must go on.

I love blogging and for last one month I've been away, but life goes on.

There are people whom I've disliked for genuine reasons and I had to ask them for help... and life goes on.

There are trains by which I never wished to travel, and I had to... and life goes on.

I've studied some courses and learnt a lot, but could not reflect it on my marksheet... and life goes on.

There are people whom I loved, respected and satisfied and they die without giving me any chance to return all the favours that I was bestowed upon since the beginining of my time... and life goes on.

Someone important in my life is feeling pain and I am sitting by them helpless... and life goes on.

Someone gave me life and gives up life ...and life goes on.

It did not rain when I wished so ...and life goes on.

Someone stood by my side helping me a lot ...and life goes on.

Someone loves to talk to me and consider me as a true friend, I'm thankful to them ...and life goes on.

A giant wave of destruction chases people and kills them, drowns them, take them away ...and life goes on.

Power goes off before you could save your documents ...and life goes on.

An explosive revelation, mental agony, trauma, RECURRENCE and everything goes blank... and life goes on.

Nostalgia strikes, something missed, something gained, something to retrospect... and life goes on.

So many opportunities lost and still hopeful... and life goes on.

Someone is traumatized and life springs back to normal for them and it goes smooth ...and life goes on.

Planning to call up a old friend and catch up with all that happened since we lost contact ...and life goes on.
People offer help, sympathesize, offer help again, maintain a distance, restate their helpfulness, avoid and finally forget ...and life goes on.

Someone serves painstakingly with dedication and when the the job is over, they are asked to leave and they find a new job...and life goes on.

Someone throws a party and the evening becomes lively, thanks to them ...and life goes on.

Time passes ...and life goes on.

Plans fail without fail ...and life goes on.

But we are strong and accept whatever comes, because life must go on. Life does not go on forever, and your last breath may be the last one. This is the time.

Moronic Delites

What makes a man happy? The answer is happiness itself. Happiness is conglomeration of success, love, contentment, fulfillment of dreams and a number of such abstract things. Just saying that a 'successful' man is happy or someone having a hour-glass figure girlfriend is happy may not be true. I feel that joy is ephemeral but anguish is enduring, at least it makes a greater impact on subtlety and tranquility of mind. Sadly for me, I don't rejoice my accomplishments as much as I lament upon my defalcations. May be it's not the right attitude to bank upon, as the overall happiness goes below zero.

Joy is indeed short-lived. Like say there's an exam tomorrow and you've not even started studying(not an atypical case). You just browse through the whole syllabus and filter out one or two easy topics and cram them. Now what, the whole paper is greek to you and suddenly you see a question related to something that you studied last night, and that fosters a wave of ecstacy!! On one such moment, have you ever thought is this joy profound and salubrious? Solving one question will not get you anywhere but the ephemeral sublime joy cheers you up. All fools are happy, not all happy people are fool. On similar terms, while playing football occasionally we find someone hitting a 30-yard shot with immaculate precision and everyone goes gaga over him, but that's just a chance which may not be refashioned. Sometimes we are wandering around canteen knowing there's no money in pocket and suddenly we discover a old torn 10-rupee note in the backpocket which the Brijwasi caterer will happily accept for a cold-drink, though his joy is ephemeral too like ours.

What if we start discarding all these moronic delights? What if we dont make ourselves happy on trivial matters everyday? What if we dont find anything to cheer upon eternally? Those petty, inanimate trivial joys make our day, not everyone has a party-every-night life.There are people who are really unfortunate and not successful to a great deal, there are people who cannot afford to buy happiness. Life is not a rollercoaster for many, and for them these moronic delights are not moronic. Not for me too, but still I titled this blog as 'moronic' may be because there's lot more to come,rejoice and roll over again.