June 16, 2009

Leaving Behind

I generally don't like to hear to womens' talk but sometimes I just have to. It's not boring always. I was in a cramped up office last month for an internship. It was a govt. company with big files, red tapism and creeping slowness in every process. There were ladies working there for last 25-30 yrs and on the verge of retirement. They talked about everything but mostly it was centered around their kids, career and office life. They wondered how work at office will progress once they are gone. They picked each of the new guys and speculated how they will mature and take care of things that they used to do. They talked about their kids' studies, college and activities. They were worried about their daughters' marriage and contemplated if love marriage is really a good option. All the while I was pretending to work on computer with my ears all open. I hate to admit that I enjoyed doing that. Peeking into someone's life always gets me curious.

We all are leaving things behind. I hardly have few things in my life that I had five years ago. My hobbies(tv channels, fruits, games etc etc), idiosyncrasies, thoughts,attitude all have been altered to some extent. The people I talk to, spend time with or see around are all "new". I have forgotten and been forgotten by friends, acquaintances and relatives. I have done things which I wouldn't have liked to do. I am running a race from somewhere to somewhere, changing directions on certain outcomes which I do not control. I have changed address 14 times in last 9 years and I'm sick of it. I'm leaving myself behind. I wish to settle down somewhere sometime soon. I went home for 5 days and wanted to stay there longer. You miss so much in hostel- food, care, attention, discipline, comforts, festivals, celebrations and solace. I can say this after spending almost last 9 years in hostel at the prime of my youth. I wish things, I ought to make it happen.

Finally, the concept of weekends is history. The timetable is such that there are 2-4 classes everyday but the good thing is that it distributes the load. I moved to a new room at the ground floor and got bitten by an unidentified insect which caused random swellings that moved from finger to finger to stomach to neck to lips. That was a fun sickness to have!


monica said...

u sound like someone who has seen it all and is now in a hurry to settle down! :D

Prasoon said...

I have nothing that I had five years ago and going forward five years, am sure I will have nothing of what i have now. All I will have then is 10 years added to my age since those days back then 5 years ago.