November 13, 2005

Wish you luck for CAT 2005

October 30, 2005

It's all about being me!!

Nothing new, It's all about being me. Infact this whole blogspace is about me, but this blog is more about me. I've been tagged by Steve about a fortnight ago, but procrastination is my birth right. Anyways I've been really busy this time, not that usual vagrant's quandaries, but some serious soul-searching, reason being CAT preparation. I have been pondering these days on education,competition, dynamics of success and failure etc. Millions of students study and only few excel, and competition??You get one more mark and you're through and one less you're a cabbage! Is there any authoritative way to churn out good students on a massive scale? A two hour exam is just not enough to test someone's aptitude earned in a lifetime, but in life not everything is as per our wishes. Let's take whatever comes.
Coming back to life, I would like to thank Steve for tagging me. I always wanted to be tagged, but that was a secret. I would like to say 20 things about me...

1. Girls keep ogling at me all the time. Wherever I go, whatever I do, but that doesn't make me self-consious at all! I dont know their ulterior motive, but then you never know what goes inside a girl's psyche. Do I look funny?

2. I'm fascinated by Banks. My father was a Bank Manager and so I've been knowing a lot about banks since early childhood. Those ledgers, vouchers, pass book, applications fill me with joy. Even the menial drudgeries of a bank clerk's job seems to be so enticing.

3. Something went wrong with me, may be when I was an embryo. As a result, all my choices are obscure! No one likes my favourite dish, no one likes my favourite player and my favourite movies etc. etc. In any given set of n items, the item I will choose will be the item with least probability of selection. So the more unpredicatble you are, more predictable you become. Paradoxes rule my life.

4. I love numbers. I've been adding, subtracting, mutliplying, dividing numbers just for the sake of fun since when I was a kid. During my school days, I used to pass time in classroom by playing with numbers.

5. I like wearing full-shirts and cotton trousers. I like clothes of one colour only, not cheques, stripes or any modern art. Plain shirts are sober.

6. I believe that all battles are won in mind and real world is just the physical simulation.

7. I am very bad at explaining things. Ask me to describe the moon, I will start with sun and earth and then I will try to find out the relative distances and then may be I'll describe the colour, shape, size, history etc.

8. I'm ambivalent like hell, if I think of 'A', the next thing which comes into my mind is 'not A'. Consequently, a lot of my energy and time is diddled away fighting with myself.

9. Nostalgia, sigh!!! How much I remember about my past, though uneventful, but thanks to good memory I still have faint pictures of times gone by. There are quite a few things which I would like to change, if I happen to go back to the past.

10. I don't compromise to the greatest possible extent. I dont like to drag myself down to something, to accept a policy which is not in accordance with my innermost feelings. I accept people the way they are, and I expect the same.

11. I would like to learn Violin. Melancholic tunes fills my heart with pleasure.

12. I yearn to be a sportsman. I've spent a lot of time at ground, but I never mastered any game. How much will I love to win a match on my own!!

13. I don't need drugs to hallucinate. I live in dreamworld for a long long time. The world is better there.

14. I'm ambitious but I don't think too high. Sky's the limit, but for me a big cloud will suffice :). My policy for life -" Aim for the moon, you'll end up in higher stratosphere someday."

15. I love to drive fast. My parents used to get complains every alternate day that your son is driving too rash. But that is what they think, I think I take calculated risks, never had any serious accidents. The induction principle does not apply in every realm of life, however.

16. I love summers and scorching heat. My mind works at its best when I'm drenched in sweat.

17. I love fruits. Whenever I have an opportunity, I live mostly on a fruit diet. That's the secret of my slim and trim figure :)

18. It is only me who understands my jokes. If you are finding this post funny, you're becoming like me. You're warned!

19. Kids love me. True!! I've great amicability with kids. Kids stop crying when I hold them up.

20. I wish this world were a better place with lesser problems, higher congruence and above all contented! I'd like to play my role in making this world a better place. Ideas are welcome.

Phew!! Now I've been through this ordeal so I would like some more to suffer, my evil tendencies point towards Amiya, Jayant, Raj and Milo!!
Put on your thinking caps, and get down to work! Peace!

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September 9, 2005

Those days, when we blogged...

Hey! If you're a regular blogger, or an irregular blogger, or a frequent blog visitor, or an infrequent blog visitor, or a one-time blog visitor or at least heard of people who write blogs, you could have remembered the ancient glorious days of blogging. There was passion which tailored our blogs, there were ideas which enthralled or were supposed to enthrall blog-readers, there was a burgeoning urge to express our views, there were no barriers and we were free to choose anything and everything. Those days, when we blogged, we eagerly waited for others to express themselves and if something opposed our belief, we were overly keen to put forth our debatable views.

Time has changed. In DA-IICT, everyone is busy now. All we fourth yearites are slogging for CAT, GRE whatever and now midterms are around the corner. I firmly believe that an efficient person should be able to separate two distinct domains of life so that they don't interfere. With respect to this, I've failed without fail. Its not like we're mugging 10 hours a day, not anyone I'm sure, but this is more because we've put ourselves in an invisible cage. Even when we're not studying, we either tend to think about it or worry about the things which are beyond our control. I believe I'm one of the least concerned person about exams, but now even I'm behaving like a complete idiot. Even on the eve of Annual Examination, me(and Giri) used to play. On one such day,I blogged too.

What delineates this misery? First one is pretty immanent, we're all lazy sloth. Our inner self still considers spending time infront of computer screen a way of passing time, so during days with high academic workload we avoid it as much as possible. Blogging is considered to be a creative and innovative way to bakar. Wasn't it always like that? A blog a fortnight will not harm. Come on, atleast consider blogs as a practice for RC, try to understand the tone of the passage and think if you're likely to agree or disagree with the author. That will really help :) Best of luck.

August 21, 2005

Rakshabandhan

Since the college reopened on Aug 6th, I've been busy with various mundane stuff like completion of RI, 'inaugaration' of B.Tech. Project, selection of electives, mock CATs etc. So when Bhavesh invited me and Vivek( who couldn't go for some reasons) to his home for Rakshabandhan it was a welcome break. Though I was little apprehensive in the beginning because of "studies", but as always Bhavesh, with his super-duper persuasive skills, belittled me. Finally we left college by 2000 hrs on 18th Aug. For the first time in my life the principles of murphy's law were violated and everything went right.

1. We got a bus to Railway Stationeven before we got out off autorick! It never happened before as generally it takes me 30-40 minutes to get a bus.
2. The bus took the long route and still managed to reach Station at 2058 with 7 minutes to go before the train leaves.
3. My queue at ticket counter was the fastest! We were ready with ticket by 2103! We ran towards the train but it was so crowded that we couldn't get in.
4. The train started to limp along and we decided to leave this train and wait for the next one. But lady luck was smiling for sure and we managed to get into the least crowded LAST bogie after chasing the train.
5. Fortunately we got to sit and it turned out to be Anand( Bhavesh's home) special bogie. The policeman was kicking out all non-Anand passengers from that bogie. hehe!

The stay was very pleasant and I feasted on a lot of Sindhi cuisines. I wonder I will turn obese if I stay at his place for a couple of days. Rakshabandhan was special to me as I was tied Rakhi for the second time by Charul(Bhavesh's sister) after 10 years gap. Post Rakhi, we strolled in NDDB colony and I met Bhavesh's friends. They were all so sincere guys!! I came back and slept like a log. I ate, ate and then ate again and again.We left back for college the same day and there comes the end to a wonderful stay. Thanks to my cellphone, I took a lot of photos which I will post in my photoblog. These memories are gonna last for a long long time. Next Rakhi, I won't
be here but I'll relive in those memories.

July 30, 2005

Placement Saga

Some people wait for this day since their first day in college, some are worried about, some simply wear dontcare attitude and some are fazed what to do. Come placements and college becomes the liveliest and most happening place. Everyone is getting ready, buying new formal clothes, wearing a tie for the first time, putting on neatly ironed shirts, getting hair cut short and above all wear a grave look on their faces which looks quite weird when compared with their natural wide stupid grin. Placement fever started and everyone was busy in making their CVs and I later learnt that you don't need to do much to make it look decent. It's just a clever way of factual representation. Placement actually kicked off a day before schedule, anyways here comes the generalized experience.

Day -1 July 17th

Mindtree, the most preferred company for DA-IICTians in general, gave its PPT and written test followed. They made it clear that they are gonna take separate tests for different streams. Results were out by midnight, and many people were disappointed as only 69 were shortlisted!!

PeopleSpeak(): CPI mattered!

Day 0 July 18th

TCS aptitude test was a cakewalk for everyone though TCS people spoilt their repo by behaving absolutely weird when they saw almost everyone getting through. Interview were highly disorganized with scheduled interview getting late by 4-5 hours! Some were interviewed for 55 minutes and then rejected because they were "overqualified" while some were interviewed for merely 2 minutes. The final selection was highly skewed.

PeopleSpeak(): A dog in our college was renamed as TCS.

Day 1 July 19th

Infosys turned up! It was forced to reduce its CPI requirements from 2.50 to 2.00 and to 1.90 finally! The test was quite good, but the invigilators! Just imagine, 8-9 invigilators in a room giving instructions every 7th second, even during test as if filling up the form was a mammoth task. Most guys were selected and the HR interview was just a talk. A whopping 75 were selected! TCS interviews still continued and it ate up precious time and space of college.

PeopleSpeak(): Infosys is God!!

Day 2 July 20th

HP gave its PPT but there test team was late so InterraIT got the first spot. The test was very easy, but company appeared to be dull. Best thing was that they were bang on time, each interview for 10 minutes or so and no unnecessary grilling. People got the taste of lady interviewer. HP exam was well-organized and of a respectable level. Except for an invigilator who kept shouting on mic "Don't chitchat! Don't chitchat!" continuously, everything else was tranquil. Nirma ppl also came so college was a crowded place. Interview was just a formality, and HP people were most jolly and ebullient. Very few were disappointed today.

PeopleSpeak(): Thanks to MindTree for taking the cream away, it was easy for us!

Day 3 July 21th

Here comes the mother of DA-IICT, Reliance Infocomm. Lots of hope and everyone was craving for that motherly affection, but Reliance lived upto expectations dodging everyone. Rejecting a lot in written test and then interviews were technically tough but then everyone was called for interviews irrespective of test result.To the repugnance of candidates, it delayed the results to monday- typical Reliance way! Overall, it was a huge disappointment.

PeopleSpeak(): No reliance on Reliance.

Still companies are pouring in, as placements are going on. College will reopen in first week of August, phew!! Finally, there will be a schedule to follow otherwise I just keep lazing around. OK this is the final call for all those who are willing to go to Indroda Nature Park, Aug 1, 1000 hrs. t h a n x

July 26, 2005

Trance

People, I really don't know what to write. So much has happened recently but I'm unable to pen down. I compose the first paragraph and then delete it, don't know why??Probably this is what they call writer's block, but don't worry, I WILL BOUNCE BACK!! These days I'm living in trance, trying to resume CAT preparation, thinking about future, getting lost in oblivion, reveries ,12 hrs sleep, dreams and many more.
And for Gandhinagar people, so far Praneet, Prasoon, Vivek, Bhavesh and myself have clinched the idea of going to Indroda Nature Park, can we have some more??Please respond in a day or two.
Why am I just a speck of dust?

July 8, 2005

Animalia

It was way back in 1988 when I was mathematically 4 years old . I bought two white rabbits, Rs 300/- apiece. They were cute especially when they kept their long ears straight like horns. The biggest problem was faced by my mother because they used to shit anywhere in the house, but obviously it didn't bother me . I was busy making a living place for them.I took my TV's box and put some mud and plant leaves in it and the rabbit-house was ready. I was simply fascinated by those rabbits, they jumped higher than me. One morning I found their blooded dead bodies. Dogs ate them, I mourned and it was over. Behind my house there was a grazing field. I saw one black memna one day and it was love at first sight. The good thing about goats is that they shit out of the house. Well that memna was owned by some shepherd but he allowed the cuty memna to stay with me while others grazed every evening. With my new found fantasy, I used to collect vegetable remnants all day to feed him(or her, not sure). Weeks passed. One fine evening, the shepherd boy told me that memna is ill, two days later it died. Life went on.













My rabbits were pretty much like this, but not so fat.














A cute memna

Years passed, I was still one-digit old. I found a cow. Well there were many cows roaming around but they were rowdy but this one was retiring. So I befriended him/her and everyday at some fixed time it came to me. Animals are more punctual than we human beings. It felt great when that cow leaned infront of me so that I can touch its head. But then my father got transferred to a different place and(as an 8 year old boy) I could not even bid goodbye to that cow. Phew!!!!! I have always disliked dogs, simply because they dislike me. I've been haunted by dogs so many times, but luckily I escaped on each occasion. Once a dog even managed to grab my foot in its mouth, but I survived then also. Birds, I love them, Bird-watching, my hobby. There have been quite a few times when a bird came in my room and ruined its life by colliding with moving fan. I did whatever I could do, but life and death are beyond human control. When I was in class Xth(CBSE), there was a chapter in biology on birds. (Knowledge fact: Study of birds is known as ornithology.) There was an exercise for which I had to roam around and see all kinds of birds and make notes on them. During my summer vacation, I did that exercise with my colony friend Nitesh and I really enjoyed it.

Slowly and gradually as I grew old, I lost touch with animals. There are still animals around, just go out in Gandhinagar you'll find cows with really humungous horns which scares me badly. Obviously there are lots of dogs in college, but I hate them for reasons mentioned above. I change my way if I see a dog standing infront of me. I'm a nonvegetarian but that is another aspect, I still love animals. However if you feel bad about it, I'd clarify my stand if needed. Why is it that I've lost touch with animals? Partially because I'm busy with my daily routine and more because of lack of commitment.There is an Indroda Nature Park just 1 km away from DA-IICT and Deer Park may be 3 kms from DA-IICT. But none of my friends are willing to go there with me to enjoy the mystic flora and fauna. How many of them know about it?? It's not too late so if anyone is interested, leave a comment. Some of us may have attended the Animal Help Foundation seminars and rallies in Ahmedabad( because I see people wearing those T-shirts as their nightdress) but that does not bring us closer to animals. The most effortless way to interact with animals is to feel them around and just shower our love on them. Cat, Dogs(eww!),Squirrels(lots of cutiepies), various birds, chameleons, Peacock(its a privilege!!), monkeys etc. are some of the animals that we can see everyday in college. Ofcourse attending AHF seminars and rallies will help us, but natural interaction is more needed. Nature has been benevolent on us, I feel I should express my gratitude towards her.

June 29, 2005

This day in my history...

Today is June 29th 2005, a simple day, no big event, nothing phenomenal,nothing noticeable infact. Thousands of such days crop in and out. Out of 7756 days of my life so far, only a handful of them are momentous and those fateful days have had lot of substance. Leaving them aside, I(or rather we) have lived in vanilla days.Thanks to my daily dairy entry habit, I can dig out the happenings of even normal prosaic days and relive them in my memories. Let me delve in today, traversing year by year.

29th June

1999- Well it was the summer vacation of class IX...school days yaya!Everything was going so swiftly- no troubles, no tension, no exams to crack! but I was so bored of life.

2000- Yeah so complete vella time! Boards over and I had applied for my new school- DAV JVM, Ranchi. To my parent's disappointment, I chose to go away from my home just to prepare sincerely for engg entrances. Classes were to begin from July 10.

2001- I returned to Ranchi today after completing my summer vacations at home. I wanted to stay for some more time, as going back to Ranchi seemed to be a compromise. I reached Ranchi in morning 0600 by bus and then I decided to go for tution. I had my chemistry tution by Tapan Sir. He was simply a great guy, -14 power spectacles, majestic persona and lightning quick calculation speed which always bedazzled me. I never heard any student saying anything bad about him though he was very strict. I always used to be 'characteristically' late in his class, but he always allowed me to enter though no one can never expect such leniency from him. But the tution was cancelled that day, so I came back and did my favourite thing...yeah I slept!

2002- My seat in DA-IICT was confirmed and I came back to Muzaffarpur just two days back after counselling. I was looking forward for college, and excited about my future. Don't remember much!

2003- I was in Mumbai, my father was operated four days back. My friend Danish and my mother arrived just one day back. After weeks of trauma, I was so happy to see my mother and one of my best friends Danish. Danish and I roamed in Mumbai whole day, I will always remember the fun! First we went to my guesthouse, but I forgot to bring the keys and we could not even enter. It was raining so heavily that all local trains either running late or not running. We went to Bandra by bus, got down and got fully drenched in rain. Then we went to Khar station walking and it pouring down so heavily that I cant even see. We took a train to Andheri and after getting down we were haunted by the infamous Mumbai stray dogs, finally we reached his uncle's house.

2004- I was ill:feverish and enlarged tonsilitis. Also I met with an accident few days back, so still I had to go for dressing everyday.

2005- Here I'm today, getting up at 1330, watching rain, studying for RI, enhancing my vocabulary, writing blogs...

Crossing out one more day!!

June 23, 2005

A Road of Relief

Why do I have this false notion that my DA-IICT days are over??3 years over, but don't know why I feel that I've to pack my bags very soon. Probably that's why Nostalgia strikes me so that I remember my fresher days in college often. When I came to Ahmedabad for the first time(June 22'2002), I stayed in Hotel Marvel, Relief Road. I went to Relief Road today with my friend Abhijeet(don't know?? ok he's Babu) for shopping. Relief Road has always been a warm, welcoming and friendly place for me, so I dedicate this whole post to Relief Road.

By definition Relief Road means a road which is opened specifically to relieve the traffic in the concerned part of city. Relief Road was my first impression of this part of country which really amazed me. This was my origin in Ahmedabad and I used to find my ways w.r.t Relief Road. I like Relief Road because this was the place where I did my first few shoppings alone, first place where I learnt to bargain(an art for life, which I'm trying to develop), place where I get damn good quality products at reasonably cheap rates and have never been cheated and last but not least as as an emblem of Ahmedabad. For those who have never been to Ahmedabad, Relief Road is a very busy hustling bustling jostling 1.5 km long road(paved from Ahmedabad Railway Station to Lal Darwaja) with clothes, garment, leather goods, book shops on both sides in bottleneck congestion(quite resemblance with Chandni Chowk, Delhi). The traffic mainly kerosene driven highly polluting auto-rickshaws and two-wheelers travel in jig-jag manner putting pedestrians at a high risk, as I always suffer. All over Relief Road you'll see hawkers and vendors shouting at top of their lungs, agents trying to grip your neck(or hand, or whatever they catch) and drive you to their shops, customers trying to bargain, traffic police failing miserably etc. etc. In one sentence I will describe Relief Road as a street of complete chaos and mayhem with healthy business flourishing between shrewd adroit shopowners and expert bargaining customers in a miasma of vehicular emission, that's how I paint the picture in my mind on this blog.

Talking about todays shopping it was fun.I was answering thoughtfully to all of Abhijeet's inane queries.(Like looking down from Nehru Bridge he asked me which river is this? Two times he was almost crushed while crossing the road). And the best thing which could ever happen, it rained today and I got wet happily. My only concern was my mobile but after putting it in a plastic bag borrowed from some hawker, I jumped out in rain. Despite the fact that heavy rains lashed the market, Relief Road was as chaotic as ever.That's the spirit, and this is an example of management in brawl. In the end I would like to say one thing to Relief Road, What a Relief you have been!!

June 22, 2005

Longest day of the year

Yesterday was the longest day of the longest year of my life so far- 21st June. It was not just the length of the day which made it so long for me, there were other enterprises going on side by side. It was the counselling of the new batch in our college DA-IICT, and it was a reminder that I'm in fourth year now. Nostalgia strikes me often and I remember my counselling on June 24 2002, so much have changed since then like the landscape of college but few things are still the same like my weight. Counselling is supposed to be the day when youngsters see their college, the place where they're gonna spend four crucial years of their life. Parents look more worried than the students themselves which I aptly reconcile.

I myself counselled three families( which includes one family with 8-9 members). The first family(of 8-9 members) was from MP and they had three students to admit!! No idea how they managed to do so, but I had a strong urge to ask but I killed it. The second family was from the AP. The last one was from Rohtak, Haryana and the guy's father was in army and he was trying all his tricks. They all came to my room when I was about to leave and as I bid goodbye to one family other came in promptly and again... Probably it was their inflection and anxiety which forced them to ask stupefied thickheaded questions. I know parents were dazed so I tried to be generous and polite, but sometimes the puerility brought me back to my normal arrogancy. Some of the stupid nonsensical half-witted questions asked to me, my thoughts and my answers were:
A. How far is bathroom from your room?
Why??Are you in a hurry??
20 metres and turn left
B. Mention any three drawbacks of your college.
Why didn't you ask this during proper counselling? Bahut mazaa aata!
You'll figure out more than three very soon.
C. My son got admitted in XYZ coll, should he take admission here?
Why did you come here?for free food?
Anything is better than XYZ coll.
D. Why is there no provision for mosquito nets?
Is your blood too sweet??Come to my hometown, synonymous for mosquitoes.
They don't bite.
E. How many hours should one study here?
Does anyone?
5 hours atleast to stay in race
F. And most idiotic ques: How many hours do you study???
*SHOCKED* me??you mean, me??how does it concern you dickhead?
2 hours per day(big lie!)
G. How much percentage do you get?
*even more SHOCKED* your son wanna compete with me?
ummmm...ummm...we get grades which are not convertible in percentages(even bigger lie!)*turning my face to son* So, how much did you score in your 12th??
H. Do students play?
No, they sweep the sports complex.
Yes even when lectures are on.
I. How often do you go home?
Whenever mummy calls.
Whenever there are vacations.

So this way I concluded most of the discussion. The biggest problem was that labs were closed, and I had to live without internet for most of the time. Probably that's why this was the longest day! Time is passing so sluggishly- RI stuck, CAT prep on but crawling, Summer too hot, no good movies... that's why I'm having so long days. Anyone game for scrabble??

June 12, 2005

June 10, 2005

Renaissance

Time travels unidirectionally and continually. Life is a chronology of events. Everything fades away with time but sometimes I wonder how some experiences are rejuvenated. There are certain things which follow a fixed cycle of time like day night, seasons, crops etc. which are tenable but at the same time certain phenomena strike back off guard. I remember few days ago a person(ex-tenant) asked me for my number. I gave him my home's landline number. He was bent down to write it on a piece of paper and suddenly he rolled his eyes to look up impressively and said "oh, you have a landline no.!" and I just smiled and replied politely "yeah, it's a reliance landline." So what is the whole idea??? Mobiles have outnumbered landlines, not just in quantity but also in popularity and ease of use. Youngsters, especially girls, have mobiles all the time in their hands. This is the reason why my uncle was surprised to know that I've a landline number too, and settled people these days choose landline over mobiles thanks to radiation, high rates and senility.

One of my online friend wrote in her profile that she doesn't like shorthand sms-lingoed typing, nor do I. At one time it was even a fashion to make grammar mistakes intentionally( i cum for I will come) alongwith raping spellings, but now I see many people showing their faith in english grammar. I agree it saves time, but don't you think it is avoidable, if possible? Thanks to blogging, I'm back to real English. Fashion repeats itself, very true. There was a time when it was jeans, jeans and blue jeans everywhere and now people have shifted back to good old trousers. Thankfully I was never guided by jeans mania, readymade trousers looks good, feels good, costs good and is good. Girls were eager to shed their clothes one time but now I feel that full length trousers/jeans and top have become a feminine symbolism on most general occasions. However skirts are more sexier as they leave a scope for imagination to run wild!

When I was a school kid, I discovered chess and I liked it a lot. I asked my other friends to play with me, and they retorted back " Are you a nerd? Chess is for old people and politicians." and I consider this as a highly offensive and derogatory remark, but time has changed. Now when you hear someone playing chess, the general impression is that the person has intellect, patience and sharp thinking abilities. Playing chess is nowadays not considered to be old-fashioned, thats very good. There is a tremendous uprise in cultural restaurants like the ones where you'll get to feel like village, being served on plant leaves by waiters dressed as villagers. Hubble-Bubble(Hookah) have found a decent place among all classes of people esp. youngsters. These entities were considered outmoded once, but now with time they are back in a city resident's life.

What brings them back in action? We have not reached at a saturation level where nothing else can be invented anymore, but then why do we redeem outdated stuff? One reasoning I propose is that we may not pretend but from inside we consider too much modernization as a fad and we have some sense of cultural heritage. We accept new world of ATMs, wi-fi readily, but we do not wish to let go what our previous generation has accomplished. This way we maintain a delicate balance between modernity and old practices and extract the best out of both worlds.

June 4, 2005

Just a talk

I'm feeling lonely now, I just wanna talk. No serious stuff, no crude philosophy, no hidden implications, no thought provoking, just a simple talk, afterall blogs are meant to exchange ideas.I have never read any book apart from glancing upon coursebook and few others. Last night I took midnight walk with Bhavesh, and then me and Vivek were talking near GF junction(not EF, its GF). I said "I wanna read a novel", but dont know which one to start with. Since I'm impatient so I wanna start with a 200-250 page book. Bhavesh suggested Harry Potter series, though it doesn't appeal me much but still I feel that I need an easy one to start. Vivek proposed 'The Alchemist', pretty good one. Its not that I'm completely ignorant about books, but I've never shown the courage and patience to finish a book entirely. So people please suggest me a good book to start with.

Sadly Orkut is blocked in our college, all those thing which are imbibed in our life are taken away by college. They don't allow chatting simply because it consumes bandwidth. What's the use of bandwidth anyway? They blocked parlis when it was getting familiar with DA-IICTians and Orkut which was so deep-rooted in our social lives. We are basically online bugs, ICTians, dwelling in e-world, thinking like a computer and yet our arms are cut. Naresh rightly said that the spice is lost. One US airlines filed a petition against Jet Airways, India that they are directly related to Al Qaeda and should not be allowed to operate in US, and their supporting evidences, guess what they say "since Jet Airways (India) Ltd was planned and started in 1991, it has been funded by Al Qaeda 'Specifically Designated Global Terrorist' Dawood Ibrahim". Firstly these developed leader countries exploit poor countries and take all their wealth away and then they accuse without proper vindication.Ironically the accuser is itself named Jet Airways, may be they are facing identity crisis.


Tonight a booze party is planned which if realized will be my first experience(apart from useless beer). Lalla the pioneer, Anna the experienced, Kunal Sengupta the host, Zubin the newbie, me the newborn and we'll find one more to set the hostel ablaze.I have heard that people do very funny things when they drink for the first time, so tonight if you are beaten up or your clothes are torn apart by me without any proper reason, just stay cool. However I always think that people get high, but they act more ... let's see if its true.
You guys know Peter leko??? The hungarian chess legend... he's on a 'commiting blunder' spree. He has put himself in 'mate in one' position in a drawn game. Poor guy...they are publishing a book What is wrong with Peter Leko?? Chalo, I wont make you feel bored anymore..signing off bbye

June 2, 2005

And life goes on...

Yesteryear have gone by and life has changed. So much has happened, so much has transformed, sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, happiness, sadness and all flavours, and life goes on. Come what may, life must go on.

I love blogging and for last one month I've been away, but life goes on.

There are people whom I've disliked for genuine reasons and I had to ask them for help... and life goes on.

There are trains by which I never wished to travel, and I had to... and life goes on.

I've studied some courses and learnt a lot, but could not reflect it on my marksheet... and life goes on.

There are people whom I loved, respected and satisfied and they die without giving me any chance to return all the favours that I was bestowed upon since the beginining of my time... and life goes on.

Someone important in my life is feeling pain and I am sitting by them helpless... and life goes on.

Someone gave me life and gives up life ...and life goes on.

It did not rain when I wished so ...and life goes on.

Someone stood by my side helping me a lot ...and life goes on.

Someone loves to talk to me and consider me as a true friend, I'm thankful to them ...and life goes on.

A giant wave of destruction chases people and kills them, drowns them, take them away ...and life goes on.

Power goes off before you could save your documents ...and life goes on.

An explosive revelation, mental agony, trauma, RECURRENCE and everything goes blank... and life goes on.

Nostalgia strikes, something missed, something gained, something to retrospect... and life goes on.

So many opportunities lost and still hopeful... and life goes on.

Someone is traumatized and life springs back to normal for them and it goes smooth ...and life goes on.

Planning to call up a old friend and catch up with all that happened since we lost contact ...and life goes on.
People offer help, sympathesize, offer help again, maintain a distance, restate their helpfulness, avoid and finally forget ...and life goes on.

Someone serves painstakingly with dedication and when the the job is over, they are asked to leave and they find a new job...and life goes on.

Someone throws a party and the evening becomes lively, thanks to them ...and life goes on.

Time passes ...and life goes on.

Plans fail without fail ...and life goes on.

But we are strong and accept whatever comes, because life must go on. Life does not go on forever, and your last breath may be the last one. This is the time.

May 2, 2005

Moronic Delites

What makes a man happy? The answer is happiness itself. Happiness is conglomeration of success, love, contentment, fulfillment of dreams and a number of such abstract things. Just saying that a 'successful' man is happy or someone having a hour-glass figure girlfriend is happy may not be true. I feel that joy is ephemeral but anguish is enduring, at least it makes a greater impact on subtlety and tranquility of mind. Sadly for me, I don't rejoice my accomplishments as much as I lament upon my defalcations. May be it's not the right attitude to bank upon, as the overall happiness goes below zero.

Joy is indeed short-lived. Like say there's an exam tomorrow and you've not even started studying(not an atypical case). You just browse through the whole syllabus and filter out one or two easy topics and cram them. Now what, the whole paper is greek to you and suddenly you see a question related to something that you studied last night, and that fosters a wave of ecstacy!! On one such moment, have you ever thought is this joy profound and salubrious? Solving one question will not get you anywhere but the ephemeral sublime joy cheers you up. All fools are happy, not all happy people are fool. On similar terms, while playing football occasionally we find someone hitting a 30-yard shot with immaculate precision and everyone goes gaga over him, but that's just a chance which may not be refashioned. Sometimes we are wandering around canteen knowing there's no money in pocket and suddenly we discover a old torn 10-rupee note in the backpocket which the Brijwasi caterer will happily accept for a cold-drink, though his joy is ephemeral too like ours.

What if we start discarding all these moronic delights? What if we dont make ourselves happy on trivial matters everyday? What if we dont find anything to cheer upon eternally? Those petty, inanimate trivial joys make our day, not everyone has a party-every-night life.There are people who are really unfortunate and not successful to a great deal, there are people who cannot afford to buy happiness. Life is not a rollercoaster for many, and for them these moronic delights are not moronic. Not for me too, but still I titled this blog as 'moronic' may be because there's lot more to come,rejoice and roll over again.

April 29, 2005

Three years

25th February 2002: I filled up the form for DA-IICT
12th May 2002: National Entrance Test Conducted
24th June 2002: DA-IICT counselling, seat allotted
29th April 2005: Semester VI Completed
Three years have passed, three years of college, three years of ICT, three years of solitary confinement, three years of relentless rummage, three years of virtuous gentility,three years of something more...
So here do I stand at the end of third year of the coveted engineering(based on the major assumption that I'm not getting F in any course this sem). I've never been successful in envisaging about the future, but a reminiscence of past has always been rewarding.


Sem I- New day, new start, new friends, new motivation, new life.
Highlight: Hookup with a tall supposedly most beautiful girl of this college
Sem II- Carelessness, Sleep, Bunking, Movies, untidiness, recklessness
Highlight: Approaches to Indian Society result
Sem III- quagmire, homesickness, crushes, fighting with Hardik,developing some interests
Highlight:JAVA project and the world's most infamous viva, nightmare!
Sem IV- Coming back to life, cool, easy, information theory, thinking about GRE,CAT etc, self-motivation
Highlight: ummmmmmmm... none!
Sem V- Leaving hostel, Chakka's lectures, disastrous midsems, bewildered objectives
Highlight: Shifting to 1318, Sector-2
Sem VI- Ok this is fresh!! A synopsis!!

MCS- Attendance was a nightmare!! Due to some unavoidable circumstances I missed most of the attendance. Still not sure that he'll pass me or not on this basis. However the course was great, loved the concepts.
SEN- he he he ...roflol....
SEN project was epitome of teamwork, with everyone knowing how not to work and blame on others.
MLA- How three hours can change a life???A disaster!!! I gave 5 out of first 5 popquizzes, did well and was nearing a probable A, but last three hours of the course i.e. last lecture(sixth pop quiz, that I missed) and two hours final exam ruined everything. The quizzes I gave were of weightage 5 and some of 10, and last one which I did not give was whopping 20, and final I fucked up so A to C/D in 3 hrs, unmatchable!!!!!
RFE- I dont like smith charts. Actually if you're planning to make numerous circles on a piece of paper then make them concentric,otherwise it will look so dirty and messed up.
LAC- easyyyyyyy, ma'm always went easy on me... had fun discussing in class..never I opened my mouth more than what I did in LAC.

So this is the story, the languish end to a misery... and more to come!

April 17, 2005

A Vagrant's Quandary

I walk in the corner of a street or corridor always in my characteristic gait. Many ppl find it funny , because when whole path is empty why would someone follow the traffic rules, so tenaciously? Anyways, its my way of doing things, li'l bit whimsical but chalta hai, you too have some idiosyncracies of your own. I've been spotted trolling aimlessly in wee hours of night alone. Most of you have asked me what was I trying to do? Have I turned crazy? Why was I smiling?Or fallen in love kind of stuff, but I never answered to quench your thirst.When everyone else is doing something or other peacefully then why am I, despite having perfectly emblematic life, so tumultuous and living in a persistent quandary?

Not that, I'm searching something. Its not that I'm dreaming about a girl, hallucinating about being a very rich man some day or I've lost control over my mind. Walking in sham pathways of DA-IICT is not gonna yield me anything, I know, but it's all going on in mind which you can't see.What you see is me spending hours in lab, switching from one pc to another,wandering between my room, canteen and sportsground...certain expectations were belied. The whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, makes me so pre-occupied that sometimes I dont know exactly what's going around me. OK leave it, I don't wanna contribute my privy heartfelt feelings to Opensource community. I always think that I will just write simple day-to-day things in blog, but when I start writing, my unmodulated feelings overwhelms my self-control.

My vagrant life is attributed to the fact that I've insatiable hunger. Nothing satisfies me, unfortunately, and I'm not too willing to accept something against my basic instincts. Compromises are hard to make, and commitments even harder. To not value one's own words, is a one of my most hated standpoints. I guess, I have to be a bit more flexible to understand the society around me in a better way, and seek solace. And then I need to concentrate on certain things in a more focussed manner. Peace of mind will come only when I'm sated, and satisfaction will come only when I've agreed upon some covenant between me and people who know me. Let's see if I can strike a balance.

Recently, someone gave me liberty to peep into her life ...ok dont make any guesses, you don't know her. I saw a very sweet,li'l crazy friendly girl who trusted anyone she came across, and then her perfectly satisfied happy life was torn apart by a guy, who didn't knew that there are limits to something. Trust, relationships, betrayal and again trust... thats how life goes on?? isn't it? Her life was a mirror which reflected that why one should not just accept whatever comes their way. You gotta fight to make changes, and that is just because you are unsatisfied and this embarks restlessness. Probably that's why I do troll aimlessly knowing it won't do any good for me. Time is ticking away... *sigh*... take care

April 11, 2005

When you own nothing at all...

There is one girl. Her parents were rich, busy and not concerned about her. She was sent to a girls only boarding school right in her infancy. She was brought up there,lived there in the middle of other such children and learnt to live. She woke at a preset time every morning, had a fixed breakfast depending on what day it is, then followed the usual school routine. She comes back from school and she's allowed to play. Then she studies, have her fixed dinner and sleeps in the dorm with other kids she's been living with. Time passed, she grew up and had a tough time seeking solace. She never discovered her true self, always lived in a closed space amidst a bunch of similar ppl. She became claustrophobic. When she finished her high-schooling and came out of her cave, she was one such ill-tempered, rowdy, arrogant brat that people used to avoid. There was a desperation in whatever she did, because for the first time in her life she is interacting with world outside. For the first time, she owns something totally, apart from the cupboard and locker she possessed during her boarding school days. She never shares her things with anyone, and she's over-possessive about anything she owns.

Well, if I were her I would have done the same thing or I would have been even more wild. The desperation and the fact that time gone by never comes back, so what you missed is gone forever, is good enough to convert sanity into dementia. Most of us are very lucky, as we lived with our families and enjoyed the comforts of home. We had the liberty to eat whatever we wished and sleep whenever we felt like. Seeking solace was never ever something to worry, as we had ample time to rediscover ourselves and facets of life again and again. In short, kids who grow up at home have better personality developments than hosteliers, barring few exceptions. But how does it matter, when so many boarding schools are flourishing?

I'm always emotionally hurt when I see someone admitting kids in boarding schools. Nowadays, people are exploring better career options which require a great deal of time and resources. Some are so busy that they dont even have time for their family?? Whats the use of all this then?I just hope everyone gets love and affection in their lives, with their own people.

PS- The girl mentioned in this blog is real, and I accidentally surfed through her blog. She's marrying next month, so I just hope life gets better for her. I can't give her blog address cause I wrote this blog without her consent, so please dont ask. Thanks.

April 7, 2005

Where's my mind??

I had a tough day today... about 14 hours of coding in VB for that stupid SEN project( Retail Business Database Management Suite, big deal!!!). Well for those who are professional ones, can enjoy this but for a lazy slob like me, this is one of the nightmares which has gone into the annals of history forever. The best time I had today was the half-an-hour I spent listening to Bulla ki Jana lying on my bed at dusk in my room. Visual Basic is pretty user friendly, but I'm in no mood to befriend it for my life. Life as a software engineer???? Bullshit!! This sends a shiver down the spine. Banging your head infront of PC for 10 hrs a day atleast, what's left there to live??

Where's my mind?? Why do I always leave work to the end? The last minute working(LMW) syndrome has estranged my mind. Anyways, "where's my mind" se yaad aaya ki you should listen to the song 'Where's my mind?' by Pixies(Surfer Rosa) and it's also the FightClub's soundtrack. Awesome song, with divine music. Now, where's my mind really? I was writing about software project and my attitude towards work, but suddenly I thought about this song and .... where's my mind???? Why do I always think about right things at wrong time and wrong things all the time?If I don't get this back on track asap then, I should not even worry about cat. No, I'm not talking about that mew-mew cat, not that cat which chases the poor mouse, but the CAT which is gonna milk me dry on 20th November 2005.

BLOG hi jeevan ka satya hai. I wonder why I didn't realize the beauty of blogs till date. Already innumerbale numbers of blog have published to express the divineness of blogs, so no point in posting one more. But one thing is sure, blog-o-mania is ON.

April 5, 2005

LDRs

LDR is Long Distance Relationship. It may be friendship, love, brotherhood, business contact or timepass etc. Like I'm living in some gandhiji nagar and one of my good female friend is in a windiest city in kiwiland(yes you, comments plz!!!)-the last tip of the world, I can hardly interact with her. When I left school then all of us(friends) promised that we'll stay in contact with each other. It started off pretty well, but then the initial fizz was lost. Away from sight and hence away from heart, is true, I guess. If I call up my friend in Bangalore now and tell him that "yaar, I'm having SEN lab now and I'm so bored. Writing blogs is fun, anyways I ate blah-blah for the lunch. And power just went off...", will he take it seriously? He doesn't know what's SEN at the first place and unless the lunch is yummy he won't even consider that... and hence starts the distance gap which is physical as well as emotional. So here's 100 rupees question, Can LDRs with someone you have already been with can flourish?

I love my cellphone... it's the best thing that I possess in my pocket. The instant way to communicate ppl around the world... but costs money! I don't mind spending few bucks for talking to an old friend, but generally the return response is not so enthrilling. SMS, what a beautiful thing?? But money matters.Email is an outmoded way of comm. Now I can't imagine myself writing long emails with proper punctuation to anyone except the faculties of my coll. Orkut, thanks a lot, you are a dream come true! The easiest way to communicate ppl is scrapping, the real fun of life! But this is accessible to only those who have literally free internet all the time... and not everyone is a geek. Yeah, there are few more ways but leave it.
Its not just the way of comm. which matters, what matters most is your relationship still afresh? Everything fades away with respect to time.If the other person is just a casual friend, then forget it! If the other person is your lover, then initially there'll be lot of compassion but then no one will prefer to stay burning with desire. You'll find someone else, s/he will find someone else and life will go on, unless its pure love which is rare. Quoting Pink Floyd's One of my Turns (one of mah favs, too),

Day after day, love turns grey, Like the skin of a dying man.
And night after night, we pretend it's all right,
But I have grown older, and you have grown colder,
And nothin' is very much fun anymore.

I've seen even best friends losing contact once they are out of sight. We make new acquaintances in our life, and settle down in a different place and whatever is left behind seems to be a distant past.

OK! enuf! Do you still think that you can deterministically say that you'll not leave people behind you? Trust me, after five years down the line it'll be very hard to stay in regular contact with college friends. The conclusion is fairly simple, live your life now. Enjoy, make the best out of it, live it to fullest, cause time gone by never comes back, stating the obvious. I cannot convince myself that I will forget people who come in my life, though I've enough reasons to believe so. I still feel that I'll be messaging to you, ten years from now. Will you do the same? *emotions overflowing**sob sob*

April 4, 2005

Retrospection of first 21 years of my life... Part II

Contd. from Part I ...

Lovelife was never kickstarted though I kept applying oil to the wearyteary parts of love engine. Though I took a couple of valiant efforts, and a couple of generous invitation fell on my side but I never got my mind into it. This is one area where I cannot afford to compromise. The wait may be painstaking but the reward is worth its value.As I have already stated somewhere that love is a monotonically decreasing function of time, so longer you wait, dimmer your chances are!! So the idea is simple, girls are welcome!

Academics, I could have scored a lot more than what I've got provided I had studied. But with my restless mind, I just cannot concentrate on one thing.But still I am deeply satisfied with my performance throughout my life.I have lived my life in shambles, totally disorganized in a state of anarchy and chaos. I keep my room unclean( kviv, dont comment) and there's no schedule in my life. I have heard of something called time management but never applied. Needless to say, I would like to amend this thing.

What do I expect from next 21 years of my life, assuming I'm alive and sane to celebrate my 42nd birthday?
* Do not repeat the mistakes that I have committed, half the problems will go away.
* Speak when necessary.It's good to value your words, but dumbness is not an invaluable trait.
* Dare to take risks, and dare to lose. But learn by experience.
* Don't live a sedentary life.
* Many more, time will come, not everything can be planned.

Retrospections are painstaking. You should never do that.

Retrospection of first 21 years of my life... Part I

Opening the book of my life....

I've turned 21 today! I'm 21, legally 'marriageable' but who cares for that, when you've to kickstart your own life.Its a great day for me, today I can see myself as a sane individual. The personality of a individual is greatly dependent on the way s/he is brought up as a kid (for all those who have attended my creepy 'Child Psychology' prez must be knowing). Right now, I feel I am standing on top of a tower and I'm seeing a newly born healthy baby named Amod and analyzing how he fared in his life in the given conditions. What I could have been and what I am are quite far away, but nevertheless I love myself and I'm grateful to all those who have showered me with their love and benevolence.

Childhood are best days of one's life. I have had a great caring family in sound economic condition hence I started better off than millions. I was introvert and never had urge to speak my heart out. Being the most silent kid, I was considered as a suspicious mysterious creature in class and my excellent academic performance( good ol' days) labelled me as intelligent, a burden that I had to carry unwantedly for all of my life. Today I feel I should have talked to a few guys because silence is intriguing and hardly gives you any scope to socialize. My family was li'l over protective about me which hindered my natural development to some extent, but they're right from their point of view. When my father got transferred to Muzaffarpur in 1992 I came to a bigger school and saw new kind of animals(ppl). I made new friends and learnt a lot. But I had never mustered the courage to do something different, though I always wished to. That is one part which I would like to change, incase I go back in time. Being selective is appreciable, but neglecting the basics is not, thats one more thing which needs amendment. I was never a deprived kid, I could've got whatever I'd have asked for but I never had any demands. Now I repent when I realize that I spent my kiddays without this. The kind of relationship kids share in school is purest, and those memories are most cherished.

I'm lucky to get good friends. I have really amazing friends who are good at heart(comments plz!!!). Back in school days, though I never cared to mixed up but I was always taken care of and considered to be a part of the group. Even in college, I'm so popular for absolutely no specific reason at all. And I've got lovely nicknames... and the story behind them is hilarious. But still when I see myself from top of that tower, I feel I have missed a lot. There were many guys(gals included, whenever I say guys) who wanted to be friends with me or I wanted the same, but knowingly or unknowingly I didn't realize it. I wish I find them again during my journey of life.

March 30, 2005

The song of life- Bulla ki Jana

Bulla ki jaana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am? X 4

Na mei moman vich masetan Neither I am a believer (who stays) in a mosque
Na main vich kufar dian reetan Nor do I indulge in actions of disbelief
Na main pakan vich paleetan Nor am I the pure one amongst the impure

Na main andar bed kitaban Neither I exist in books of Vedh
Na main rehnda phaang sharaban Nor do I stay drunk
Na main rehnda mast kharaban Nor do I remain stoned, rotting

Na main shadi na ghamnaki Neither I am happy nor sad
Na mei vich paletan pakeen Nor am I in the (argument of) Purity and Impurity
Na main aaabi na main khaki Neither I am (made) of water nor of earth

Na main aatish na main paun Nor am I fire nor air
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am? X 4

Na main arabi na lahori Neither Iam Arabic nor Lahori
Na main hindi shehar Nagaori Nor am I (resident of) the Indian City Nagaori
Na hindu na turk pashauri Nor Hindu nor Turk Peshaweri

Na main bhet mazhab de paya Neither I found the secret of religion
Na main aadam hawwa jaya Nor did understand Adam and Eve
Na koi apna naam dharaya Nor did I create a name for myself

Avval aakhar aap nu jana From beginning to end, I tried to understand myself
Na koi dooja hor pacchana I did not come to know of anyone else
Mai ton na koi hor syana I am not just another wise one

Bulle shah kharha hai kaun Bulla Shah, who is this standing?
Bulla ki jaana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am? X 4

Na main moosa na pharon Neither I am Moses nor Pharoah
Na main jagan na vich saun Neither I am awake nor asleep
Na main aatish na main paun Neither I am fire nor Air
Na main rahnda vich Nadaun Nor do I live among fools
Na main baitthan na vich bhaun Neither I am sitting nor am I in a tornado

Bulle shah kharha hai kaun Bulla Shah, who is this standing?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am? X 4

OOO…

Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am? X 4


- Rabbi Shergill


I’m pretty obsessed about this song now. Sometimes I am just stuck with something.
This is the song of life, so soothing, so refreshing, so meaningful… if you’ve not heard it then what the hell are you doing on this earth? You may not like this song for the first 6-7 times, but then suddenly things will change. Fortunately I’ve a clip of this song saved in my cell.

Have you ever pondered that who you are and what is the meaning of life? I’m thinking after hearing this song, and the conclusion (so far) is not very enticing :-(
I’m not marketing for Rabbi Shergill and Phat Phish Records, but do take out some time because if you haven’t heard this song then you are seriously missing something. This is no exaggeration.

My favourites are always obscure, but this time I am not alone… and there are people who have heard this song and fallen into love at once. I’m one in the thousand.

March 27, 2005

College reopens

College reopens tomorrow. I 'm happy, I don't like vacations unless I have planned something exclusive full of fun and entertainment. So I had a hard time figuring out what to do( apart from academic works and sleeping). There are few reasons why I like working days more than vacations(I'm not workaholic by any chance!!)-

1. I'll get up at time. During vacations the most probable time for me to get up is 1000-1100. Though it is remarkably decent as compared to college standards but I don't like being a couch potato, like most of my friends.

2. The working schedule will keep me busy whole day, hence I'll be essentially away from comp. screen unless it is software lab. This is very important for my eyes.

3. I'll play football in the evening. During vacation most of the guys are home so sports ground is mournfully empty. I'm not an avid sportsman but that's the best way to get fresh air and ache your muscles.

4. I can manage the evening time more effectively on working days.

5. My dying Software Engg. project will get a subtle ray of hope when all groupmates will gather, and the project will get few more breath invariably.

6. Many more, I can't think of right now.

But working days are definitely more enjoyable than holidays. If you have 365 days of holiday an year, then will it serve any purpose?? It's the working days which give holidays their credit.

March 24, 2005

Tantalizing Power

Did you ever try to gatecrash in some building while the security guard was trying to stop you?I did, and not just once but a couple of times. Once it was at Reliance Webworld, Satellite Ahmedabad, I reached there with my friend at 1956 and Webworld closes at 2000. The guard was trying to convince me that time is almost over and we are packing up. I was raising the issue that still 3-4 minutes are remaining and I just need to get some information so why the hell are you killing this precious time? While my friend was busy arguing I was waving my hand to the staff(female!) inside, and I was glad she noticed it. But my smile was shortlived and she signalled me to go away showing clock reading 1959!!!Now this is power of power.

The security guard was right, the time was almost over and they must pack up right on time. I was right because I came there before closing time. Who was more right? Or does precision matters at all? This is a matter of analytical discussion but whatever it is, one thing is obvious. The one who is in power, will never leave a chance to show its significance. Don't blame the person in particular, this is human psychology. I think roughly 99.5 % ppl are suffering from PDS(Power Demonstration Syndrome) and ACS(Attention Craving Syndrome). I feel that I'm out of this so I'm left alone always being a victim. The conductor in bus, TTE in train, professor in college, monitor in class, clerk in office are just few instances of people having power and eventually PDS.

So what's the solution??? I have tried verbal and purely logical argumentation but that's of no use. I've not tried complaining to higher officials but I'm pretty sure it won't work. What do you do then? Its not necessary that I should put up a nice fool-proof methodology to deal with such hypocrites. If you have any feasible solution, I'm waiting eagerly...

March 17, 2005

Marching away

I hate March. Always in my life I lived March in a way that doesn't suit my interests. March is supposed to be a great month, ppl say that the weather is nice neither too hot nor too cold plus the major festival Holi makes it even more auspicious. Throughout my life so far, I felt that March had taken more than what it has given to me. March in school days meant annual exams!! So how does it matter if weather is nice, when I'm not at peace. I remember the boring gap of 5-6 days between two papers, and I was so uneasy waiting for it. March symbolized the termination of an academic year and anything which ends gives me a shiver. At the end of March I was generally busy recollecting my thoughts like what I did in this class, why i didn't get good marks, why I didn't ask this question, why I didn't talk to that girl etc. etc. Retrospections are generally disheartening, as one could always do more than what one has done.

I like months like February, April, December etc. December seems to have lot of enigma running with it. May, June, November are quite boring and not to forget March. There need not be rationale behind everything. Sometimes, just act on your hunches!

March 14, 2005

The war is over

Garry Kasparov will never play in any professional tournament. For last thirty years, he had been phenomenal in the world of chess. The invincible king Kasparov has left the battlefield, for finding something else in his life. What that 'something else' is, only he knows but we are free to speculate. Just the mere utterance of the word KASPAROV brings out some sensation in my mind, because being passionate about chess and anything related to it I have closely followed how Kasparov has changed the world of chess and why everyone bestowed his supremacy.

The endgame was sudden and stunning, not a typical Kasparov style where he slowly builds up a dynamic favourable situation, but it created a stir in the chessworld as usual. Kasparov said " I don't see any immediate goal in chess" and " It's hard to find determination" and few other statements which gives me an impression of what was going on in his mind. What was left in chess world that was out of reach for kasparov? There was absolutely nothing more to prove. I firmly believe that once you are on top of the pyramid and you know that you have reached here by merit and there is no one capable to dethrone you, you should make way for others. Kasparov did that rightly, though he was still challenged to some extent but he always managed to find his way. What is the point in sticking to the throne?We strive to win always and acquire as much as possible. The hunger for more n more is insatiable and those who attain contentment are simply great and Kasparov has the heart of a lion!!!

Kasparov was never my favourite chess player because I didn't like the fact that he remembered all possible openings and techniques and was trained right from his childhood days. I'm not saying that his game was bookish and unnatural, but I prefer someone like Bobby Fischer who came out from nowhere and accomplished everything on their own without any external support. Garry is presently writing a book "Greatest Predecessors" about the chess kings before him. He quoted this also as a reason of his retirement. Kasparov is considered to be the greatest chess player in history by many, some rank him even higher than the Almighty Bobby Fischer. Whatever it is, let it be there. Right now I can feel only one thing, we'll never see Kasparov making his moves again... all good things come to an end. This was a sudden clean finish, but memories are haunting. The only thing which matters now is that, the war is over and the king is gone but his kingdom was never invaded. Kasparov still rules!!!

March 11, 2005

Train to Mumbai

I am writing my first blog for the second time, because for the first time power went off before I could complete this. So finally I have landed in one more domain, and let me see for how long can I stay here.

I am going to Mumbai tonight( 9144 LokShakti Express, Ahmedabad-Mumbai dep 2105). Ya I'm obviously excited about the trip but it doesn't have any happy note. I am going to meet my father, admitted in Jaslok Hospital. He has been battling against brain cancer since last two years and everytime when he was forced to go down, he came out stronger. After his second brain tumour operation on March 5, he's feeling much better but it'll definitely take a long, long time to recover and there will be some irrepairable loss. He has always been unlucky in his life. I know that I am asking for too much, but I just wish that he stays for atleast five more years so that he can see me settled somewhere down the line, as far as my career is concerned. I don't stay tensed up for a long time, and right now what I can see is my journey tonight. I haven't yet got the confirmed berth, its RAC 12 a few minutes ago, but they generally add an extra 'boggy' so I'm hopeful. I just love travelling.I've done it mostly alone, but still it is pleasurable.

I've totally messed up my current sixth semester. Though I had genuine reasons, but I have missed so many classes and I'm lagging behind badly. There's nothing new in this but as I've to keep running between Ahmedabad and Mumbai for atleast a month, when will I get time to cover up? But still it is manageable, I think.