A Vagrant's Quandary

I walk in the corner of a street or corridor always in my characteristic gait. Many ppl find it funny , because when whole path is empty why would someone follow the traffic rules, so tenaciously? Anyways, its my way of doing things, li'l bit whimsical but chalta hai, you too have some idiosyncracies of your own. I've been spotted trolling aimlessly in wee hours of night alone. Most of you have asked me what was I trying to do? Have I turned crazy? Why was I smiling?Or fallen in love kind of stuff, but I never answered to quench your thirst.When everyone else is doing something or other peacefully then why am I, despite having perfectly emblematic life, so tumultuous and living in a persistent quandary?

Not that, I'm searching something. Its not that I'm dreaming about a girl, hallucinating about being a very rich man some day or I've lost control over my mind. Walking in sham pathways of DA-IICT is not gonna yield me anything, I know, but it's all going on in mind which you can't see.What you see is me spending hours in lab, switching from one pc to another,wandering between my room, canteen and sportsground...certain expectations were belied. The whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, makes me so pre-occupied that sometimes I dont know exactly what's going around me. OK leave it, I don't wanna contribute my privy heartfelt feelings to Opensource community. I always think that I will just write simple day-to-day things in blog, but when I start writing, my unmodulated feelings overwhelms my self-control.

My vagrant life is attributed to the fact that I've insatiable hunger. Nothing satisfies me, unfortunately, and I'm not too willing to accept something against my basic instincts. Compromises are hard to make, and commitments even harder. To not value one's own words, is a one of my most hated standpoints. I guess, I have to be a bit more flexible to understand the society around me in a better way, and seek solace. And then I need to concentrate on certain things in a more focussed manner. Peace of mind will come only when I'm sated, and satisfaction will come only when I've agreed upon some covenant between me and people who know me. Let's see if I can strike a balance.

Recently, someone gave me liberty to peep into her life ...ok dont make any guesses, you don't know her. I saw a very sweet,li'l crazy friendly girl who trusted anyone she came across, and then her perfectly satisfied happy life was torn apart by a guy, who didn't knew that there are limits to something. Trust, relationships, betrayal and again trust... thats how life goes on?? isn't it? Her life was a mirror which reflected that why one should not just accept whatever comes their way. You gotta fight to make changes, and that is just because you are unsatisfied and this embarks restlessness. Probably that's why I do troll aimlessly knowing it won't do any good for me. Time is ticking away... *sigh*... take care